I am Black, but to break it down, my ethnic background is African/Native American/Venezuelan. Therefore, the term "African-American" is a limiting misrepresentation. That statement may offend some, but this is who I am.
I may not look it, but I'm 37 years old. And usually guys younger than me get worn out by just watching me. Can you keep up? The only way to know for sure is to try. Start at my website,
http://tre-x.com,
http://myspace.com/trexavier
&
LASTLY, BUT IMPORTANT
If you only have 1 race of people on your friends list, DO NOT SEND ME A FRIEND REQUEST. You are on an American-based website.
So open your heart to at least friendship to every race
Or on my list, you will have no place.
Tre Xavier's view of things in this world. The new title represents his reptutation in his blogs to see beneath the surface,and share that discovery with you.
Brian Reed's "Through The Heart Of It All" (2/8/10) [View | Hide]
My post-porn life continues growing, as I will be one of the models featured in the exhibit, "Through The Heart Of It All" by artist Brian Reed.
As always, I jump into things trusting who I'm getting involved with, but not knowing fully of what I'm getting myself into. In this case, I couldn't help but trust Brian Reed because he is the one responsible for suggesting me to model for the final work in Zach Hyman's exhibit, "Decent Exposures". So when I read in a Facebook update that some of Brian's models had cancelled, I offered myself since felt I owed Brian one. After all, it was him who led me to those thrilling 30-seconds of modeling for Zach Hyman that contributed immensely to my decision to retire from porn.
While being naked is nothing new to me, the photoshoot required me and the other models to be in some make-up like you see in the poster. It's been quite a while since I had to sit in a make-up chair, so I was a bit out of practice in holding still without flinching when my eyes were being made up, even though the make-up artist said that I did great. And while there are more group shots, each model had some taken individually. So why don't you come see them for yourself when they are finally unveiled.
Also, since I will be at the opening reception, if you see me - say HI at....
Now there are some like me who really don't give a fuck. And it's not out of cynicism, or envy because we're single. It's just the simple fact that we feel that if you need a person to create a special day to tell that special someone, "I love you", then you're just perpetraiting a fraud.
That doesn't change the fact that many will be getting laid on that day, and just because you're single, there's no reason for you not to be getting some yourself . Because while you may not be in love, I'm sure you are in lust with somebody. So why don't you give a gift to that person who makes your particular organ for sex crave a physical connection.
Because as Robbyne advises her readers, “A closed mouth never gets fed”. So if you want your mouth filled with someone’s sweet meat you have to let them know you want it! Especially with males, because sometimes guys needs a little more than flirtation to get the hint. At that point, we have to spell it out for him, and I think this teddy bear does that quite nicely.
get your Fuck Me Teddy Bear today and let this cute little critter bring romance your way. It's $22.95 plus shipping and handling with a 100% Money Back Guarantee.
Tre Xavier with Lucky Irish (2/2/10) [View | Hide]
I've finally done it!
But isn't it funny? NOW, after announcing my retirement from porn is it that not only do I do my 1st free video with someone else to post online, but it's the 1st time you get some view of me as a top.
Also, yesterday's blog post, like most of my "Write That Down" posts was actually me preparing you for the next post. So in this case, the fact is that the video I'm speaking of is a barebacking video.
I have no shame about it. I always said that I would do it with someone I felt comfortable with, and I have. In addition, I'm not being like many hypocritical porn actors, especially those signed to studios, putting on a show for the public acting like they never have and never will bareback, when I have seen and heard different. I've never done that to you. While I am more in favor of safer sex, I've admitted to barebacking, which makes me unlike one of those bullshitters. And here's the proof below.
I wanted this video to be as if you were peeping in on 2 guys fucking, and they paid you no mind as long as you stayed on that side of the bed, and didn't get close enough to try forcing yourself into our playtime. That explains why you can't see some of the real kink we had going on like how around 6:30 Lucky Irish was sticking his big toe in my hole, and I was actually liking it, as well as our cumshots, and my licking both of our loads off of him. But with the almost 15,000 views and 22 5-star votes on X-Tube so far in less than 24 hours, I hope this means I've accomplished that. So see if this trailer keeps your interest.
This may be on of the most controversial post I've ever written for this category, but if you've read this blog enough times before, then you know that I don't give a damn. For I don't call it like I see it,...I call it like it is.
Have you ever noticed how when a debate over a certain matter arises, those who are against it are totally "anti-" while those who support that thing considered bad are more open to giving the indiviual their God-ordained right to choose? With that being said, as the debate over barebacking wages on (mainly in the gay porn industry), I've come to realize this:
The sides in the debate over barebacking should not be worded as "anti-barebacking" and "pro-barebacking". Instead, the sides should be worded like those in the debate over abortion, "anti-" and "pro-CHOICE".
The term "pro-choice" is one I have never really heard of in the barebacking debate. In the debate we usually only hear of "so-and-so is against..." and "so-and-so supports...". But the truth is people who say they are against barebacking while I don't fault their good intentions, I feel coming at people with an attitude like you're the Sex God therefore justified in policing their bedrooms is not the way. Meanwhile those who are thought to be pro-barebacking or in support of it, like myself (who has admitted to both safer-sex and barebacking) - usually don't have the attitude of how barebacking is the only way to go. Therefore, to say we're "pro-barebacking" is the wrong wording for our stand. Instead, we are more "pro-choice", for we believe in leaving the choice up to the individual by saying to them, "If you want to use a condom - fine, if not - that's fine as well". My feeling has always been that as long as whatever choice you make, both you and your partner(s) are well informed of the risks regarding whichever choice you make, mainly because of who you are making those choices with. So when you are well informed, you are FREE TO BE YOUR SEXUAL YOU.
Such an approach is out of respect for an individual's intellect.
I have always been able to multi-task. What I was surprised to find was that I can even multi-task even when I'm fucking. What surprises me about that is the fact that when I multi-task, I'm stll able to give 100% to each thing that I'm doing simultaneously, but I always thought that sex was the one time thing that I didn't do that with, because pleasing my partner was too big a deal for me. I've recently discovered different.
I was working at a couple of sex parties last Friday and Saturday. On Friday, me and one of the other attendants were checking out one guy from the moment we saw him as he came upstairs to the 2nd floor of the loft. He was muscular with a tattoo across the top half of his back, and you may recall my kink for tattoos.I had no idea if he was a top or bottom, nor did I care. I did know that I wanted a piece of him if he was interested, and it didn't matter if it was the front, back, or both. I saw him bottom for one guy earlier in the night until what it seems like forever, making me wish I was drilling his hole. Then I saw him bottom for another guy. This 2nd guy was fucking him in a way that made you want to say, "STOP....you're doing it all wrong!", then proceed in showing him how it's done.
While watching this guy fuck wasn't thrilling, seeing the tattooed guy's ass bounce was. There were a couple of people crowding around me as I jerked off to watching this. One was an older guy that just wouldn't leave me alone no matter how many times I politely ignored his advances earlier, while the other just kept touching on me as I once again, politely ignored his advances. When the 2 were done fucking, they got off the bed, and the tattooed guy stood against the wall right next to the bed. I sat down right next to where he was standing to get away from the guys feeling me up. I was still jerking my cock, and the tattooed guy kept looking down at me. I reached out for him to feel his muscular thigh (remember, I'm a leg man also). He moved closer, then reached down for my cock. When he grabbed it, he said, "Oh yeah!"
That surprised the hell out of me, because I know I don't have the largest cock in the world. He started to straddle me, and I started feeling all the muscles on his chest, legs, and that just-fucked ass, that was about to get fucked again ----by my now hole-hungry cock. I slipped frm under him, and positioned him doggy style. I lubed up his hole, put on a condom. When I started to put my cock in, from what all the fucking this guy had before me (just before me even), this guy's hole -----was still TIGHT. I thought to myself, "Someone has been doing their Kegels."
And I took full advantage. I tried pacing myself, but it wasn't long before that sweet hole had me pounding the fuck out of him. Right in the middle of it, I heard someone call my name. It turned out being a freind of mine who said he so tired that he wasn't going to the party, yet he showed up anyway. I figured that since he's a lust bucket like me that once he got that 2nd wind, he would show, and I was right.
This is the point where I discovered I was a multi-tasker even during sex, because when my friend called my name, I looked over to him, and said, "What's up!", and found myself on the verge of reminding him of how he said he wasn't coming to the party, while simultaneously, I was doing what I always do to a bottom - I was playing with his nipples, massaging every part of his body within reach, and playing with his cock. Luckily, I caught myself before any more words besides that "What's up!" came out of my mouth, as I felt it would be quite rude to the hottie I had wrapped around my dick and moaning my praises.
Saturday night I was back working the party again, monitoring the bathroom making sure 1 guy went in at a time. There was one hot short muscular Latino that kept cruising me. Eventually, he got up the nerve to appraoch me, and I reciprocated (tell those 2 guys from Friday about how "reciprocating" is the keyword). He put on a condom ready to fuck me, and leaned against the wall. I was backing up onto his thick dick, when while someone was already in the bathroom someone was about to walk right past me, and go in. So me multi-tasking stopped the guy saying, "One at a time", while trying to slide onto the Latino's cock.
When one of the party-goers who was witness to my multi-tasking came out of the bathroom, he complimented me on my multi-tasking skills. Understandably, considering the circumstances, it was a compliment that we had a good laugh over.
Well, my multi-tasking while fucking were not planned experiments, but you have to admit, it's a great story about how I discovered that I could pull it off. I just hope I don't have to do that too many more times.
A Taste For Chocolate...Your Dirty Little Secret (1/26/10) [View | Hide]
I am seeing more and more in the American gay community, White men in positions of power in the entertainment field where they can easily combat racism by being real with the public by showing the fact that away from their entertainment post...
....THEY LIKE BLACK MEN.
Part what provoked my post "TO ALL NYC GAY NIGHTLIFE PROMOTERS..." is the fact that I know some of these promoters that while Black men are just a dot (if at all) existent in their go-go boy and staff roster, they are quick to taste the chocolate, be it white, semi-sweet, milk, or dark when they are away from their title of party promoter. I also know this to be true of some porn producers, directors, and actors as well. And I am here to tell you that whatever section of the entertainment field you're in, because you make your attraction to Blacks your "dirty little secret"...
...NONE OF YOU INSIGNIFICANT BITCHES HAVE MY RESPECT!
Because you are catering to RACISM. Why should I not only as a Black man, but as a human being respect you while knowing such a thing about you?!
You can try giving the excuse of "that's what sells" all you want. Well Bitch, talk to your own asshole, because neither my face nor my hand want to hear it, as my whole body is too intellectually sound to tolerate that bullshit you are trying to sell to me.
Centuries after slavery, and decades after segregation, this country is STILL divided, especially in the gay community. And you party promoters, gay porn industry people, magazine owners and staffers, etc. have the power to bring us to where we should be, yet you let a delusion of what makes more money be what guides your decisions. Truth be told, catering to racism makes more money ONLY if the majority of products you produce cater to it.
So my question to the aforementioned people in power is, if you claim you're not a racist, yet you produce a racist product, then what does that make you? Don't bother answering, because I'll tell you. It makes you:
1) a bigger fool than the racists you're making a product for, because as one of my favorite self-created quotes states, "the follower of a fool is a bigger fool than the original"; and that makes you
2) a racist as well, because only a racist plays along with a racist's mindset. A REAL man is not a racist, therefore makes an OPEN stand against it for all the world to see. Therefore 1 and 2 makes you
3) a sell-out to humanity.
The guilt of such actions may very well explain the all-too-familiar stigma of drug and alcohol abuse that the gay entertainment scene is known for.
Just because I've been getting on those in power in gay entertainment with most of this post, that doesn't mean that those Whites not in a position of power are exonerated from my wrath. For there are a great many White "Avergae Joes" that I have encountered who take a liking to me and other men of color that gives birth to obvious sexual tension that may even lead to something more if they let it. HOWEVER, for the sake of appearances, they take with the safe bet of another White man to avoid ostracizing by so-called friends and/or family. Truth be told AGAIN, if your so-called friends and/or family were worth a damn, they would not care. But since you were dumb enough to cater to their insolence, you have now showed the same 3 aforementioned things about yourself that catering to racism says about those in power in gay entertainment.
In closing, I'd like to respond to the comments I received on Facebook from Brian Mills and Corey Corey in response to "TO ALL NYC GAY NIGHTLIFE PROMOTERS..." saying how I should name the names of guilty parties. I did respond there, but let me respond here in more detail as to why I feel no need to do so. In my posts (past and present) addressing the flaws in the gay porn industry, I was dealing with people who calling out their racist products by name (including those produced here on the East Coast), is the closest I can get to addressing them and their troublesome ways since I was unable to look them in the eye, and let them face me with their guilt by looking me in mine, because practically all the guilty parties wouldn't dare face me. So their becoming irate was the closest I could come to metaphorically make these (mostly doped-up, some Botox-faced) chicken shits look me in the eye after the fact.
In nightlife however, some of these guilty parties have hugged me, kissed me, offered to suck, fuck and/or be fucked by me and/or some of my Black friends. Until now, they have never known the depths of my feelings of disrespect for their very existence, once I came to realize that they live a life where a tryst with us would be considered their "dirty little secret". And not because of our positions, but because of the color of our darker skin.
Now, that I am putting the truth of my emotions out there, this is me saying to them - The next time we're face to face...LOOK ME IN MY EYES THEN!!!!
AND DON'T GET HIGH AND/OR DRUNK LATER TO NUMB YOURSELF OF THE GUILT!...
...I DARE YOU!
Portrait of The Stereotypical Escort (1/24/10) [View | Hide]
I recently created an account to the website, dudesnude.com. As often as I've heard of this website, I never created an account for it until now. Mainly because I don't really do online hook-ups. In fact, it's been years. And I was quickly losing faith in this one as I have with all the others, as I found myself being hit on by guys who either were too much older than me and looked it, or they were my age, but looked much older than me. Then one day, a surprise happened. I saw an email telling me I was "fucking hot" and it included a phone number. I put the cursor on the name, and the thumbnail that popped up was a slim young good-looking White guy with a huge cock. I clicked on the name for closer inspection to find I that what I saw in that tiny thumbnail was true.
His profile said that he was in gay porn, and I knew he was because of the Jet Set Men symbol on his pics. With my disdain for the racism at Jet Set Men, I didn't know exactly who he was, so I went to the website to investigate, and I found out he was Jason White.
I sent Jason a text message, prepared to not get an answer because I don't take for granted that everyone has text messaging. So I was prepared to take the more intimate method and actually call him. That turned out not being necessary, because not too long after he texted back. We exchange messages, then eventually talked on the phone. We disucssed what we like sexually, and talked about getting together. We considered a group thing, then he seem to really want to focus on me, so he decided 1-on-1 was better, and I went along.
Mind you, it's been years since I last planned to hook-up via the internet. But Jason intrigued me, because he was a rare find in a young person in New York City lately - a White American who seems racially open, and being that he was in porn, had I knew him then, he would have been another example I could have used for my blog post, He's Not Anti-Black, He Just Plays So On TV as Jet Set Men has stuck him with all White scene partners in every movie he's been in for them, yet here Jason showing he has a taste for chocolate by lusting for me.
When I tried to make plans to hook-up, Jason said he like to play it by ear, because he never knows what going to happen, such as a client calling. When he said a client calling, I then realized that he was an escort. I have had friends who are escorts, but the reason they're my friends is because they don't fit the negative stereotype. As this story progress, you will see that Jason White does fit that negative stereotype.
We made plans to meet that Friday night. I told him that I had to go meet a friend first. So his advice was to give him a call after meeting with my friend, and see if he's free. I did that, and he said he was, so I made my way home to The Bronx all the way from the Gramercy section of Manhattan. When I got home, I texted Jason to tell him I was home. I knew something was up when I got a text in reply that along with "Kool" was asking me what was I into. If you recall, we went over that in our 1st conversation. Now, someone in their 20's should not be that forgetful, especially regarding the details of a hook-up partner. If he is any good as an escort, he wouldn't need to ask me again. And if he did, a client wouldn't tolerate it, so a red flag was going off already. But it gets worst.
He then asks me if I was interested in a 4-way. Now, didn't we originally decide on a 1-on-1 at his urging? This instablility was bugging me as I have dealt with it, (if not sexually , then in another form) with former suitors. Then I was asked if I "partied", and I said, "No". Next, he asked for my screenname of dudesnude, which he should have known, espcially since it's my name just minus a space between the 1st and last name. I did give it to him, then after that, I never heard another word from him for the rest of the night.
I tried texting and calling numerous times within a 2-hour period which means ending around 1:45 AM . Filling my time with mudane things to do because it was my understanding that I was supposed to be entertaining a guest in my home.
The next day, about 3:45 PM, I texted him with this message:
Thanks 4 last night. Wait...that's right, you were 2 tweaked out elsewhere for that. That's OK. The public will know about you and your clients soon enough. :-)
This definitely sent him, as it would any escort into a panic. Especially when you say the phrase "the public will know about...your clients". What I will reveal about his clients is nothing you can't already figure out for yourselves. Plain and simply, that anyone who requests his services as an escort are either paying for his drug habit by hiring him or buying the drugs and doing them with him. So anyone you know who is a client of his, if you didn't know that about your friend before, you do now. And it was my pleasure to enlighten you :-)
You see, when you cross me, I am one sadistic son of a bitch - to put it mildly. Maybe he should have asked Chris Steele at Jet Set Men about me.
Anyway, what is the excuse I was given? ----That his phone was locked.
Now am I really suppose to believe this? Let's say that he was telling the truth that his phone was locked as he was installing something on it. If such was the case, then (1)an update should have come FROM HIM CONTACTING ME, not me contacting him, AND (2)so late in the afternoon? If their phone was to somehow lock, any respectable escort needs their phone so much that they would not wait so late in the afternoon after their phone locks to go to their carrier's store and get the problem corrected. This is where the stereotypical behavior of an escort comes in, because if I was a client, he would have moved heaven and earth to let me know what was going on, even if it meant going old school and using a pay phone. But his stereotypical escorting behavior makes it clear that the value of my time as a human being is not worth respecting. Why? ....Because $$$ were not attached to my name or my being.
This is the kind of thinking that causes violence against sex workers. An escort tactless enough to makes it obvious to the client that they are merely a meal ticket, so the client in return treats the escort like a piece of meat. And what do you do to a piece of meat when you're done with it? You throw it away. And some clients do that in the literal sense.
Not all escorts behave this way with such a double standard of treating clients and non-paying people differently, but behavior of the stereotypical ones like Jason White cause harm to those who treat every one, client or not, with the same degree of courtesy and humanity. Like I said, over time, I've had friends who have and still are escorts, and I don't think of them as any less of a worthwhile existence. It is just that like in any other profession, there are those who keep bad stigmas alive. And Jason White does that for escorts.
Size Queen: The On/Off Switch (1/22/10) [View | Hide]
On December 3rd, 2009, you may recall me being one of the presenters at Sex Worker Literati.
My intention was to do a multimedia presentation, instead of going with the simplicity of an oral one. I used video clips to go along with what I said, and it was very well timed.
Here is the video that I used with a voiceover of my presentation added afterwards just to show you what you missed that night. It may be an incentive to make you check it out should I ever do a presentation again, especially since I stammered less in the live presentation that what you here in the voiceover. Also, you may be reminded of some videos that you once liked. Enjoy.
Review Tools Getting Me WET® (1/20/10) [View | Hide]
In my last post, a video review of the bisexual porn, "Bi Now, Gay Later", I took it as an opportunity to also review something else. I used it as a chance to review another new lube from WET® that I was given called, WET® Naturals.
Like I said in that last post, I was out quite late, so while I would have loved to just sit there and watched that movie from beginning to end, I knew once I got home that Scene 1 was all I was going to get through. For watching the movie was meant to be a great finale to a fun night which included standing next to hot bare asses and cocks in Urge's Ass Contest. Now you know that besides the movie, I had other sexual tension to release.
I used the WET® Naturals™ Silky Supreme™ first. I pulled back my foreskin, and let the lube run down my dick like a clear lava running down a volcano. I started stroking, and because the scene was so FUCKIN' HOT I had to pace myself so that I wouldn't shoot my load before the scene was done. The WET® Naturals™ was lasting me the whole time. And once I shot my load, I wiped off, and did like most men do when they bust a nut - I called it a night and went to sleep.
I woke up about 4 hours later with morning wood thinking about how I wanted to see the rest of that movie. So I turned on the DVD, and started jerking off. In the midst of my jerking off, I realized something - I never put on any lube. The fact is that there was no need to just yet, because the lube from those 4 hours ago was still a tad moist on my cock, even after wiping my load off my dick. So I worked it until I had I felt the need for more. That's when I tried the other WET® Naturals™ that was given to me, Beautifully Bare™. And I'm glad to say that over the next 4 1/2 hours of watching the next 4 scenes of that movie, I was able to enjoy it using so little lube that if it wasn't for the seal being broken by me, you would never know that the bottle was used, because it still looks practically untouched.
I did get a chance to use it with someone. I was with a hot European stroking my dick with the lube to prepare my anxious cock for curing it's need to be embraced by his hole. He was a little hesitant to give me a blowjob after seeing me put the lube on my cock. I told him there was no taste to it, and I'm sure the fact that the lube is odorless contributed to alleviating it of that common complaint. And I was hoping that while I didn't taste it myself that I wasn't lying. As it turned out, I wasn't, because he sucked my cock a good number of times with the lube on it to add to my prepping to enter his hot ass. After we flip-fucked like rabbits, he told me that he liked the lube because it really did have no taste. This was funny because it seemed like an awkward conversation that you see in television commercials but don't think they would ever happen in real life. Well, it has now, but the good part about it is how that lube we were talking about helped get us to shoot our loads over the hot-fuck we found each other to be.
Besides taste, another complaint I often hear about lubes are allergic reactions. And WET® Naturals™ is hypoallergenic, so that may be a good thing to know for those with such complaints. As you can see, all these qualities of it contributed to my having a good time with it. Maybe it can contribute that same small bit to your good time, too....alone or with a "friend(s)".
;-)
Video Review: Bi Now, Gay Later (1/15/10) [View | Hide]
Last week, I went to a porn shop and saw a DVD with one of my favorite pornstars on the cover - Denis Reed, whose post I wrote about him is still getting a load of hits so long after it's original date. The name of the DVD was "Bi Now, Gay Later".
It's been so long since I bought a DVD that I didn't know how to react. And it was a bisexual porn, so I could get off on seeing Denis doing both a guy and a girl, and unlike most of the stuff he's done for the Eromaxx websites, it's not an orgy so there's more time to focus on him. I picked up the DVD, and looked on the backcover to find out that he was in not just 1, not 2, but 3 out of the 5 scenes on the DVD. Good thing I was wearing my long trenchcoat in this NY winter weather, or else everyone would have saw the hard-on growing in my pants from seeing the screenshots on the cover.
I also saw that the cast also included some other hotties I've come to know. Such as David White, who has an amazing ass, and is another model that I downloaded from VirtuaGuyHD.com, which is where I discovered the Peter Twins. The cast also features a scene with Oliver Strelly, who I've gotten off on in quite a few straight porn flicks.
Feeling this was going to be a HOT skin-flick, I still left it alone. But the thought stayed in my mind all week long, so the other night, I went back to that store, and pick it up. Now, I had to find out if it was a good thing I did, because it turned out being the last copy on the shelf.
Knowing I was going to see so many hot guys fucking other guys and girls, I couldn't wait to put this movie on when I got home.
I went out that night, so I knew I would look at the entire thing in one sitting. But I had to view and bust a nut to at least one scene before going to bed, or else I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. So I chose the scene that drove me to buy the movie the most - Denis Reed fucking David White and Sabrina.
It turns out that this was the last scene, and as far as I'm concerned, they saved the best for last. Each scene Denis Reed fucks in makes the movie for me, but Scene 5 is where he gets the most sweaty. And there is nothing I like more when I seeing people fuck than to see a top drenched in sweat, and passing that drench onto his partner(s). I was glad to finally see David White have sex, as I've only been able to imagine him doing so when I watch him pop-up and do a dance routine on my desktop from my VirtuaGuyHD program showing off that ever-so-fuckable and squeezable ass. I would have loved to see him and Denis tag-team Sabrina, so I could get a look at his nice uncut cock sliding in and out of a hole. Here, he is a bottom for Denis Reed, but that's a personal disappointment. Outside of that, this scene was in a word - perfection.
I next ventured to Scene 2 to see Oliver Strelly fuck some male ass, as I've always imagined him fucking mine when I see him in straight porn. This scene would have been perfect as well, but I HATE to see women with strap-on dildoes. Especially in a bisexual porno, because if a guy wants to suck a dick or have his ass fucked, there's a guy with a hard cock standing right there with the natural equipment to give that guy what he wants. Seeing a woman with a strap-on comes off as her having penis envy, and that plus the man accomodating that envy is a turn-off for me. So for the sake of my giving this scene any kind of high rating, the scene was saved by Oliver Strelly's intense pounding of Max Bozman's ass and Jess's pussy, and them responding accordingly. So I still had an intense orgasm jerking off to watching this scene. Not as intense as any of Denis Reed's scenes, but still intense.
The reason for that last sentence is because Scene 4 is another scene where I only wanted to fuck the bottom because of his plump ass. His enthusiasm however was too pretend in my opinion, and that's probably because the top (unlike Denis Reed and Oliver Strelly) fucked with no passion. And that passion usually drives the passion of the top's sex partner(s), which thereby makes the scene. So the chemistry between all of the actors in Scene 4 was not there to the point that the way I came was not by watching this scene, but by going back to the end of the scene I started from - Scene 5.
Few movies are so good that you want to have sex with practically the entire cast. For that reason, this movie is now one of my favorites, because I wanted to take in Denis Reed's raw uncut cock in each scene he was featured in, along with that of Oliver Strelly, and with the exception of Scenes 2 and 4, I wanted to fuck the women's pussies with their pussy juice raining on my dick and have my cock engulfed in the warmth of being inside each guy's ass. Also, the stacking of the woman and guy getting fucked in each scene was a big plus in my book.
5 loads of cum in less than 10 hours! It would have been much less than 10 hours if I didn't need to get a few hours sleep after watching Scene 5 immediately after returning home. So I guess you're wondering how do I rate this movie.
If I was to start regularly doing porno reviews, I think I would use a 5-star rating since I've always liked the number 5, and also the 1st movie I'm reviewing has 5 scenes. So basing my rating on the intensity of the orgasm I got from watching each scene, if it wasn't for Scene 2's display of penis envy and Scene 4 making me need help from another scene to make me cum , my rating would be higher - but I'll close by rating "Bi Now, Gay Later" ----- 3.8 out of 5 stars.
TO ALL NYC GAY NIGHTLIFE PROMOTERS.... (1/15/10) [View | Hide]
While you're doing promotions for Martin Luther King, Jr. Weekend, as you hire your LIGHT bartenders and LIGHT go-go boys to please your WHITE racist pig patrons and take their WHITE money, you make it quite obvious that you either have no clue of what Martin Luther King, Jr. stood and died for, or your monetary greed makes you not care. Maybe that's why you shorten the name down to the initials "MLK" - to lessen the importance in your mind of the man's accomplishments.
Because of Dr. Martin Lujther King, Jr.'s accomplishments, we are supposed to be 40+ years past the civil rights movement, yet many of you are making the NYC gay club scene show the gay community to be behind those 40+ years by segregating us. I am tired of having a Black/Latino night at a club being one of the few places I feel welcomed. If we were all at the right place mentally, there would be no need for those Blatino party nights.
I know those of you who are members of the guilty party are saying that you've never said such a thing about having a light-complexioned staff to cater to White racist pigs to take their White money. Well action speaks louder than words, and while you may not have said the words, the action of your hiring practices and who you are obviously catering to speaks volumes. Because while every non-White from Asian, Indian, and medium to dark complexioned Black and Latino, etc. you see at your events are probably there by living in denial of what I'm saying, if they face the truth, they will know that you're not taking a minority's money because you really want us there. If you did, we would see some representation in your staff, and kindness from your patrons. So the only reason our presence is tolerated is because it is viewed as mere happenstance.
This is New York City, which is supposed to be a mecca for all ethnicities and cultures. And Dr. Martiin Luther King, Jr. died at the hands of people afraid to see our entire nation become that mecca. NYC Gay Nightlife Promoters, your hiring practices and patrons you knowingly cater to show that you are no better than those people who hoped for, and saw to the death of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. It is the year 2010, don't you think it's about time you showed otherwise? Because while you're telling yourself White is what sells ---- in the year 2010, besides more money, you can also make alot more love with unity, than you can with separatism.
Peters Twins' Sickness Kills Fantasy Joy (1/12/10) [View | Hide]
I think I've stayed quiet long enough on my reaction to the news of the Bel Ami twins, Elijah and Milo Peters doing a scene with them having sex with each other. Especially since my post about my fantasy about being tag-teamed by them has gotten more hits since that news and video came out, and I did say that I would have a problem if such a scene ever happened, as I wouldn't even indulge myself in a fantasy of being double-penetrated by them.
I am going to be totally honest, like many out of curiosity, I have watched the scene. I went to a site and downloaded it for free and saw it for myself.
Did you really think I was going to be dumb enough for pay for this scene of depravity? Now, while it is a scene of depravity, I'm not going to be a hypocrite, and say that I was not aroused by it, because initially I was. But as I kept reminding myself of how it is such a taboo, because IT IS INCEST, which is a sickness, the scene became less appealing.
Even with that in mind, it is still like a car wreck ---- a tragic occurence that you can't look away from. For even though I haven't watched it since that 1st download, I have yet to delete the file from my hard drive. Maybe it's serving as a reminder of the obscene extremes porn producers are going to because they refuse to further explore natural territory that is right in front of them, like color diversity. Like the one shot deal Bel Ami gave Kimani Arenas with "Flings 2". I'm sure there are more men of color out there who are willing to do a scene for them.
SO WHY DON'T YOU EXPLORE THAT NATURAL TERRITORY, BEL AMI?!
I believe that maybe not all, but a good portion of gay men who favor this scene are the sick minds who practice the stereotypical gay behavior of narcissism by going after someone who looks so much like themselves as I described in my quote for Write That Down #6. With that in mind, I leave them and the Peters twins to their mental illness.
Safer-Sex Reality, Barebacking Fantasy (1/11/10) [View | Hide]
Those of you who follow me on Twitter or are friends of mine on Facebook may recall seeing this recent update:
New Year's resolution for my blog - stop hiding the TRUE raunch of my fantasies to be politically correct with the world's reality.
I'm going to use this blog post to explain what I meant by that, and I'm sure some of you are not going to like it. And to many of you who don't, I'll say right now that for most of you, it's out of sheer hypocrisy that you won't like it.
What I meant by saying that I was going to "stop hiding the TRUE raunch of my fantasies" is the fact that while for real lifeencounters, I advise safer-sex practices, my fantasies however are mostly bareback. So I have decided to show that in my writings here. When I speak of a real-life encounter, I will tell of my safer-sex practices with all the raunch before, during and after the fact (from every dick I licked, to every hole I poked, to every cheek I squeeze, etc.) but when I tell of a fantasy, I will tell of all the raunch my imagination can muster which may include barebacking in that fantasy.
Some of you may ask why I am making this change. It is because I have been feeling like one of the types of people I hate most when I write my fantasies for you - a hypocrite. Because even with HIV and STDs being the reality that they are in our lives, the fact is that our fantasies is a way to escape that. It is a natural gift for us to escape that harsh fact. So for the new year, I decided, WE ARE ALL ADULTS HERE, so why put reins on my fantasies, which thereby makes you put reins of yours, when because it's a fantasy, you don't necessarily need to. And if you feel people need to, then that is your hypocrisy and/or a clear sign of YOUR mental shrotcoming where you can't separate a fantasy in your head from the reality of what you need to do for yourself in the real world.
Before anyone is tries to compare what I'm about to do with this blog to making barebacking porn, you need to check yourself here. Because the fantasies I present here are written word. In barebacking porn, actors are people who are actually put through the task of barebacking by a director's orders. By my doing a written word fantasy, you could put a disclaimer that says, "No humans were put at risk during the making of this fantasy". And if you try saying that my writing may influence people to bareback, then I'll go back to what I said earlier, WE ARE ALL ADULTS HERE, and this blog is made for adult reading. Therefore, if I say the tale that I'm telling is a fantasy, it is then the adult reader's responsibility to him/herself to take it as such, and because of the reality of our lives that are HIV and other STDs, practice safer-sex in the real world for the sake of keeping their negative status, and not spreading it to others should they be positive.
What I have stated here by no means changes my support of barebacking porn's existence. I will admit that I often considered doing barebacking porn myself should I be able to do it with someone I knew well enough. While I do have such people in my life, I decided not to because I entered the porn industry with the intention of being symbolic of someone who has newly discovered their sexuality and is proud of it, and making fans questioning their orientation see my content and do the same for themselves. With that in mind, plus knowing this blog helped to create that fanbase, I knew that some fans would follow me to whatever genre of porn I moved on to, the same way many of you have followed me out of porn, so I didn't feel it was a good move as a sexual role model to go from one porn genre (condom-porn) that requires little explanation, to another genre (barebacking) where the behind-the-scenes details would be so much more complicated (at least for me) to explain to my fans that I've always been so open and honest with as to why I made that transition, thereby sending a mixed message to fans. Especially younger ones who are not aware of all the joys and (even more kept secret) the dangers that may come with displaying your sexuality. If I was to make such a move now, it would be a different story. But such a thing has yet to happen, nor is it in the works. So I'll address that matter IF it should ever happen.
With this new year, I plan on being more real than you already know me to be. And that allows you to be more real with yourself. Are you ready for this? I hope you are, as I promise to make this year the most sexy, thrilling, compelling, and enlightening one yet.
One of my 1st new post of 2009 was New Year, New Cocksucker where I went into detail about my improved oral skills the new year seemed to have brought me. Well this new year of 2010 seems to have brought me some improved skills as a top.
As you may know from a previous post, I rang in the new year at the Baña Pool Party. I was wondering who I was lusting after at the last one was going to make a return appearance at this one. As far as the hot staff goes, I was not disappointed that while helping to set up, who walks in but Jake Havoc who was bartending. The theme of the party was Fire and Ice, and some people wore costumes. Jake was one of them, and he wanted me to help him with his by connecting the back to his jockstrap, just like the guy is doing in the picture. Now, why would I turn down the opportunity to be anywhere near that bare ass, and by doing the task asked of me, possibly graze Jake's bare skin? So I gladly and quickly obliged, while fighting off the temptation to kiss each ass cheek and lick his hole since my face wasn't that far away.
I was working clothes-check, and during a point when it was slow, Jake came by during his break from bartending. He sat on a chair, and I sat on his lap. This immediately made me hard, and from the looks of that bikini I was wearing, you can figure that my cock was not going to stay contained if it continued to grow. And it did continue to grow. Jake started playing with me, and I started playing with Jake. This gave me a lot to play with because Jake is a BIG guy, in a way that reminds me of the French guy from "French Kiss, Big Bliss?". During this frolicking, a party-goer came over ready to leave, and since I'm someone who can quickly mentally morph into whatever I need to be, I immediately jumped up ready to do my job. Remember now I said I can quickly mentally morph, not physically. So the funny part of the story is that when I jumped up to greet the patron and assist him, my erect cock was pointing out between the 2 red lines of my bikini greeting the patron as well. The patron didn't seem surprised, and there was no need for him to be. Especially since he was kind of cute, so had he got to me before Jake, he could have been the inspiration for my erection.
There are more tales I could tell about Baña that night. But from here on, I'm going to use the same rule for the rest of that night at Baña as they use for Las Vegas by saying, "Whatever happens at Baña, stays at Baña." Besides if you've ever been, and knowing the lust-bucket I am, I challenge you to use your imagination.
New Year's Day (or Night, rather) I went to the sex party, Olympus. I sometimes help out at the party, mainly by monitoring the bathroom. So if you ever stop by and see me, say "Hello" FIRST, before trying to get physical. To do the reverse order is disrespectful of my personal space, especially while I'm working.
Anyway, during one of my breaks, I went downstairs and saw someone who is a friend of a former fuck-buddy. I went to say "Hi", while he was talking to these 2 White guys. One of the White guys kept looking me up and down, and because of the racial climate that I've complained about here in NYC in recent years, while I feel I'm confident in my being a good-looking man, I'm not sure how many White American males are aware of that fact. So even though the friend of my former fuck-buddy is Black as well, I didn't know if this White guy was looking me up and down to say about me, "Wow! He's fuckin' hot", or was it to say, "Who the fuck is this nigger, and why is he standing by me?! I'm already humoring one. Must I humor another?"
The friend of my former fuck-buddy then introduced us, and it turns out the 2 White guys were actually European, so I was put a tad at ease about his being racially open. They soon went to go play, leaving me and my former fuck-buddy's friend to talk for a bit. After our chat, I went back in the play area to find the European who was giving me a look getting sucked off. I decided to investigate that once-over look from earlier, so while he was getting sucked off, I stood next to him. When he looked up and saw me, he immediately grabbed me. He started feeling me up, grabbing my ass, and playing with my hole. While I don't usually like my hole fingered, I was in such a good mood, probably because of the new year, I actually started riding his finger.
Well, I guess this confirms that his gaze was to say about me, "Wow! He's fuckin' hot!", instead of the nasty alternative.
After that guy was done sucking him off, the European continued playing with me. He took me over to the bed, he sat down, and then I started sucking him off. And it was a long cock to suck. He moaned so loud a crowd formed around us, then he asked me, "Do you want to ride my dick?"
I whispered with a smile, "Yeah".
He then laid down on the bed, as I straddled him letting his long cock slide into me. Then I started riding it. It felt sooo good. Feeling that dick inside my cock-craving hole, plus looking at his amazing body made the sex so good already. And just when I thought it couldn't get any better, he suddenly started to stand up while holding me trying to stay inside me, then he put me on my back, and started fucking me missionary - HARD! He was pumping me fast and furious ramming his cock deep inside me, while I was rubbing his smooth skin and grabbing his hot flexing ass. And I was quite loud about how much I liked it. So loud that I'm sure the guys on the 2nd floor of the loft heard me. My body was pretty relaxed, but not relaxed enough to take in all of his cock. So I quickly relaxed myself to make that possible. And it made him come shortly after, with me using my hole to squeeze every last drop of cum out of his dick.
I had about 5 guys total - 2 more as a bottom which included a hot guy sweating so much that his whole body (including his ass) was drenched and made me wet as well, just how I like it, while the others were as a top, with one guy's ass being so sweet that I fucked it every chance I got. Now, besides him, it just seemed that every guy I topped LOVED my dick. Every guy I fucked moaned so loud to every sensation from my cock's entry, to the passion I slammed into their plump asses, and begging for more. And really, I'm not being a braggart. I've topped at sex parties before, but I've never seen so many guys wanting a turn at me topping them after witnessing me with someone else. So figure that I must be starting off 2010 with some kind of improved skill as a top that's getting alot of people wanting a taste.
So I don't know how many condoms and WET® lube packets I went through over my New Year's weekend, but you know what? Somebody should be giving me an endorsement deal. Because as many condom and lube wrappers I left lying around, if by some off chance you either didn't know, or seemed to have forgotten some condom and lube companies' names before New Year's----if you were celebrating near me, I may have refreshed your memory.
This is not out of arrogance, but I know that I am a beautiful MAN 1st, then a beautiful BLACK MAN 2nd. So when I sound off about being irked by the racism from White gay nightlife promoters, porn and other media producers, and their patrons, it's not because I need to get re-assured of that beauty. God does that for me everyday he allows me to wake up. It's because their lack of Black staffers shows how so many White Americans are still threatened by the fact of how light is not always right, because dark can be lovely, too.
Between a friend's recent exchange with a NYC party promoter, and part of my experience during my lust-filled post slated for tomorrow, I felt this needed to be said. I hope it inspires many Blacks who are in doubt about their beauty because of those narrow-minds, to doubt it no more.
After so many blog posts about what's wrong with the American gay porn industry, namely the racism and ageism, there came a time where I needed to make a choice. I could either (a)play bobble-head doll, and act as if these problems don't exist, (b)continue fighting for change by way of my writing to round up the many people who agree with me, or (c)realize that I had better things and enough talent to do more with my life. So I chose to practice what I preach with all the times I've said in blog posts of how "it's only porn", and decided on choice (c).
My making that choice doesn't change my acknowledging the problems still being there. It's the reason I still advise the non-racist public to send their message by boycotting the purchase of American gay porn. Now, if you find a site that gives you a nice free download of American gay porn, have at it. But delete it when you're done, because another scene or movie with just as many homogenized White guys or Blacks guys as thugs is bound to come along soon after. So there's no need to clutter your computer's hard drive with so much of the same thing. Hence why my latest statement for my "Write That Down" label is:
American gay porn is NOT worth buying. With all the racism and ageism displayed in it, all it's good for is 1 free download, 1 jerk-off, and 1 deletion.
Now, should I return to American gay porn in any capacity, that will be a clear sign that an American gay porn movie has come along where this thought should not be applied to.
Lastly, I will close by saying that due to their recent unions with Cocky Boys and Corbin Fisher, Bel-Ami is quickly becoming a European company I'm about to advise the same action on.
Last night, I went to the Milk Chocolate NYC party. They're open to all races, with the majority of attendees being Black, so to try something new, that had a pre-party that was "Bruthas-only", then the regular members came in after 9 PM.
I got there after 8 o'clock, and I walked into one of the rooms, and saw these 3 guys making out. I stood nearby, to see if I would get invited to join in. I turns out I was. And boy, was I. One guy was giving a blowjob, while the other 2 started groping me. One tall, light-complexion and fit, the other was muscular and darker like my color or a tad darker. The lighther one started making out with me, I started feeling his ass (I cannot resist a grope of the ass), then he put me in front of him. That's when the muscular guy got a piece of me. The muscular guy and I started kissing. I started feeling his muscles as he grabbed my ass. With all them muscles I knew that if he fucked me, I had better get a good pounding or I was going to be quite disappointed. But he didn't get to me just yet.
The lighter one got a condom, and bent me over on the bed. I lubed up my tight hole, so he could glide in easy. He started fucking me, and while he was getting his cock sucked, the muscular guy was cheering him on. In those instances, that usually turns into a situation where if the guy cheering hasn't shot a load yet, then he wants a turn. And that's exactly what happened.
The lighter guy stops, and I raised my head for about a minute to brace myself for the muscular guy's longer and thicker cock. And remember, I said if he didn't put those muscles to work that I would be quite disappointed. Well, I'm here to inform you that he did not.
The muscular guy first fucked me doggy-style like the lighter & toned guy did, then he put me further on the bed, to put me on my stomach. The room was dimly, but I could see the shadows of the voyeurs closing in because the sounds of that muscular groin slamming into into my bubble ass caught their attention. Then he turned me on my side with one of my legs resting on his shoulder. Then I was able to see how the loud slaps of groing-to-ass made guys walking pass the room start coming in to watch. He changed my position again to having me completely on my back. You know I love that, as I played with his nipples which he loved, and I reached to feel his muscular ass flex as he slammed into mine. He then picked me up off the bed. Still with his cock inside me, and proceeded to fuck me standing up, as I held him around his neck. It looked like something that should have been in a movie, but sadly it wasn't. And this started in less than 15 minutes after my arrival.
This guy was my type of fuck. A guy that made me write "Porn Directors, Get Thee To A Sex Party". He saw the ass he wanted to plow, and once he got it, he didn't give a damn about how he plowed it, or who saw him plow it. No inhibitions! I LOVE IT! After all, it is a sex party.
I had anal sex with only 3 people that night. The 2 from the tag-team, and a reunion with a big Russian from my past when the regular members were let in, who ended up fucking me twice - and like a savage, just like old times. But before that reunion and since at the party, I did have some oral with a few of the other Black guys there.
I was apprenhensive about going to this party, because I feel this type of environment usually contributes to separatism. Unfortunately, based on what I recently experienced at another party that I used to frequent (and is supposed to be open to all), at least for now, I fear a few environments like this may be needed. Because at this other party I used to frequent, I saw Blacks so often turned away and/or ignored by Whites that they were practically forced to play with other Blacks (or else they got no play at all), and Asians were reduced to only fluffers and wallflowers, showing racism and separatism in the gay community here to be all too real.
This was a new frontier for me. It wasn't Black men shoved down my throat like in some of the movies I've done. This was me putting myself in the position to be sexual with other Black men of my own free will. It was my call to say, "I like that face, and that body, and I want a piece of it". You know they say hindsight is 20/20. I didn't think about the fact that they were other Black men, nor did I realize I was disproving any of the beliefs that I was still racist against other Black men until after the party. And while I'm not one for single race scenarios in a propagated melting pot like NYC, I was happy enough with the outcome that I'm looking forward to another helping should one come about.
Now, don't let the title fool you. Biting is not my thing. However, the title will make sense later on in the story.
About 3 weeks ago, I went bar-hopping between 2 bars, The Cock which was having the new party called "Dry Hump" and The Urge which was having their weekly contest that I have mentioned winning before, "Ass Wednesday".
I went to The Urge and was asked to be in the contest. No, I did not win, so this tale did not have that as even a part of a happy ending, especially considering why that was the case.
I told you before that New York has been migrated with a bunch of midwesterners who are bringing the racism of the in-bred Midwestern mentality with them. I say this because me and another black guy entered the contest. Let's forget about my ass and the praise it gets, let's talk about the other black guy's ass. An ass that I must say was pretty hot. While his ass was nice and round with a good bump, the applause was lackluster. The crowd made their racist feelings clear that as long as the ass was light it was alright, but if it had a deep tan, then it should be panned, because some of those light asses were flat or fat(and not in a cute way), but they got a bigger round of applause that the other black contestant.
It was because of this that I entered the contest. I was experimenting to see for myself if this is really what I was seeing, and it was true. The crowd at The Urge that night was full of a bunch of racist hicks. There was one guy who wasn't such a douchebag though. He must have made the gesture from his seat of wanting to bite my ass. The drag queen who was hosting asked him if he wanted to bite it. I turned around to see who wanted a piece of me. It turned out being the guy who I was sitting next to when I decided to enter the contest who was friends with the other black contestant. And I did think he was incredibily HOT, so I poked my ass out for him, and to my surprise ---- he actually came up and bit it. HE BIT MY ASS!
If it was that kind of show, in that instance, he could have done quite a bit more.
Anyway, after I sat back done, I wasn't sure if this guy was with the other black contestant as a boyfriend or friend. As he was heckling one of the other contestants, I found out that he was just a friend. We were sitting so close that an "accidental" grazing of each other could easily happen, so we let it. Then that led to us rubbing each other's hands, and legs, as we watched the rest of the contest. And eventually, we kissed. I got his name, and I gave him my card which has my email address on it. I told him to email me, so we could get together sometime. I have yet to hear from him, but if I did, I know it would be a hot time.
At one point I asked him his Zodiac sign which turned out being a Leo. So my knowing I would be in for a hot time would be because of that chemistry, PLUS Aries and Leo both being fire signs. Now when 2 fire signs fuck ---- it's Passion City.
When we were touching each other, maybe his motivation was just to touch. My motivation was to touch, as well as feel the musculature of his tall slim frame. Like how muscular are the thighs and calves that would help him to thrust into me. I'm also a leg-man. Also, by feeling them, I could imagine what they look like without the pants, with the only untold part being if he has any scars or how hairy his legs might be. Whether his legs are as smooth as a baby's bottom, or hairy as a chimpanze, I want to find out. And being the lust-bucket I am, I'll be pleased either way.
So what would my fantasy about this guy be?
To pick up from where we left off on that stage. For starters, as a way of saying THANKS for taking me up on my offer to let him ravish me, I'd suck his cock till it was throbbing with anticipation of entering me. But he'd know for his own satisfaction, that before he could enter me, he would have to explore my ass more. So he would throw me down on the bed onto my stomach, and run the edge of his teeth against my ass cheeks, tickling all the nerve ending in my ass. From there he would proceed to eat me out. Slobbering my hole to prepare it for his entry. As my twitches and grinds intensifies from the sensation of his wet tongue on my hole, I start tooting my ass up more as a way to beg for him to finally put his cock inside me. He obliges, and it turns out being a with the case of most tall, slim guys, he probably has a thick dick that I'll have to brace for the impact of. He'll then proceed to fuck me in just about every position in the gay Kama Sutra with hard and fast thrusts, making the only time his thrust would be anywhere near slow is while spooning and/or in missionary. This would give me a moment to savor his cock throbbing inside me, and massage his ass muscles as they flex from his glides to go deeper inside me. He would then return to his hard and fast thrusts with the each impact into my ass causing a loud slap, showing the high degree of passion he has in his desire to lay his pipe inside my hole. And while I wouldn't be helpless, for the most part I would lay there as if I was. After all, Leos do like to be in charge, and as bad as I wanted his cock, if this fantasy could become reality, why would I dare argue?
As in all fantasies, my question of how to end it is always do I let the guy come with his cock inside me, or let him pull it out and spray his man-milk all over me, then I fall asleep with it drying all over me. I think it best to decide depending on the individual, and when he has his biggest cum-load. Which ever one has the biggest cum-load is the one that I get sprayed with. The other cumming's purpose is to experience his cock throbbing when he releases all that pent up sexual tension into my hole.
And YES, that means we would fuck TWICE. That's the one thing that fantasizing about isn't much of a stretch from reality. Most of my encounters, especially most that have been at my place have led to 2 fucks before we say our goodbyes. And if I want to talk about stretching, imagine how much stretching happened with 2 fucks from the Frenchman, and the 2 Swedes. Now, do you see why I do Kegels?
Well, that ass-biting hottie from The Urge does have my card. So his chance at a double-dip still awaits. Question is, if this happens, will I tell you, or keep it as one of my sexy dirty secrets that I'll never tell? Because believe it or not, I do have a few. Maybe this will be added to that list should it happen....or not. Only time will tell.
The Marvel Comics character, The Incredible Hulk, is so immensely popular for one very simple reason. It's because that creature is in every single one of us. No matter what gender, color, nationality, ethnicity, or even religion, there lies within you that part of you that if pushed, you can lose control, and do things, unseemly of your normal character.
What triggers going to that extreme is different for every person, but it is there nonetheless. It could be a romantic relationship ending after all you've done right, hence how crimes of passion come to be. It could also be having enough of tolerating a verbally abusive boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, peers, colleagues, or superiority figure(s) at your job. Whatever the case may be, it is a part of us that many of us don't want to admit to having. That's why when you hear news stories of people who have gone off the deep end by going on a killing spree, so many people brush them off as being unstable. They're using that other person's loss of control as a way to hide the fact that they have the potential to lose it as well.
The feeling of having enough by no means excuses heinous actions, I just have a brand of a human understanding as to how it gets there for some, and mature enough to acknowledge that I have a breaking point as well. For we are human, so we all have a breaking point whether we want to admit to it, or not.
I have already showed signs of my breaking point if you recall, in "Sex, Then Violence Resurrection, Part 1", and realized what brought me to that point in Part 2. I remember deliberating with myself on how to attack him - with a slap, or a punch for calling me a "ghetto nigger". I went with the slap because to punch him would have ignited such a massive release of over 2 decades of surpressed anger, and that scared me about myself, for that means had I punched him----
---- I would not have stopped until there was nothing left to beat.
The bottom line of this post is to say that while an Incredible Hulk is within us all, we must find a way to keep that nasty inner-creature from surfacing in a physically violent fashion unless absolutely necessary, such as a time when you and/or your loved ones are in immediate danger. I, like many artists, use my creativity to keep it underwraps by venting those dark emotions through various art forms. That's why I wrote "Sex, Then Violence Resurrection". It was a mental note to myself to keep that ugly monster under control, and let no one's verbal ignorance be so great that it makes that monster surface beyond that point ever again. I feel that if more people used some kind of outlet, we wouldn't be hearing many of the horrid news sotries of people losing control that we've been hearing as of late. We need to stop teaching ourselves and our children repression of emotions, and start telling ourselves and our children to express them instead. And tell them that if public displays have too much at stake, then express it privately with dignity and sanity. Either way, it must be released, for bottling it up eats at the soul. Which may very well explain the extreme aging Americans are known for.
Do you have a way to keep your Hulk within under control? I pray that you do. And if you don't, even though a new year is coming upon us, don't wait until that new year to make a resoultion - FIND A WAY TODAY.
New Year's Eve Plan....Lustin' The Wet Boys of Baña (12/26/09) [View | Hide]
How are you ringing in the new year?
Well, I'll be spending it at the Baña Pool Party, where the sight of all those HOT guys in swim trunnks, speedos, bikinis, and thongs - all nice and wet will satisfy my kink for hot guys with wet bodies, as explained in "Getting Out The Kinks: Step To Me - WET!", one of my past blog post for Pitbull Productions' ThugPornBlog a couple of years ago, .
And the theme for the party is "Fire & Ice". I'm not sure if I'll have a costume yet, but you can be certain that I will at least have a sexy swimsuit to display.
So if you're going to be in NYC on New Year's Eve, spend it poolside like me, lusting the wet boys of Baña. Whether the boys get wet from the swimming pool, the sweat of the steamroom or sauna, or the combo of water and sweat by hanging in the jacuzzi, I'm looking forward to my eyes getting plenty of subjects to tickle my fancy. Add to that live entertainment, games, and an all-night open vodka and beer bar (for some that's a great supply of "liquid courage" no doubt) they will be no reason for you to not be a social butterfly.
I have said before that I've never dated anyone beyond a month. It's not by choice. It's just that I seem to have a my eyes open enough to see that flaw that I know will be intolerable in the long-run. So while some may try to poke fun at my 1-month dating thus far, I take solace in the fact, that I'm happy and single. I wonder can those laughing at me call themselves "happy and taken" or "happily married"?
Now, it would be nice to call myself "happy and taken", as I have been involved with someone for the past month, but I'm getting signs that it may be over, because I'm feeling (once again) that I'm doing all the work to keep our communication going, and getting no help in return. I say "once again) because if you call, I had this problem with Danny and others, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be put through a one-sided affair again at length like I did then.
This made me sit down, think about, and put into words what I really want out of a guy, therefore makes him more than a guy, but a MAN. Thereby also, making him worth a damn. So I wrote it down and it is as follows:
Call it arrogance, but I know I'm a phenomenal individual in regards to the depth of my heart, mind & soul. So while it's nice to hear, I don't need a guy to tell me that. What I want from him is to be just selfish enough to do every humane thing possible to make those qualities his to benefit from most, but selfless enough to let me give some to the world beyond us, and man enough to say the words and (even more so) do the actions that show he acknowledges and cherishes those traits, as I do the same for him. For THIS makes both of our existences worth a damn, not just to each other, but to the entire world.
On Gay Marriage...Why So Long A Silence (12/20/09) [View | Hide]
In my recent post, "Faggy Bitch", I said that I would address the issue as to why I do not take part in rallies for same-sex marriage. And today is the day that I make good on my word.
My post, "Write That Down #2", was the start of the explanation for my reason why I don't take part in rallies. It is short enough that I can re-post it here in its entirety and continue with my explanation from there.
In a recent online debate with Taylor Siluwé on his blog about small turnouts amongst gay Blacks at rallies, marches, and the like, I referred to how for a cause led by Whites who don't usually associate with non-Whites, that while trying to reach their goal, those Whites wlll acknowledge all races, colors, creeds, ethnicities, etc. encouraging them to take part, but once that goal is accomplished, those minorities are once again ignored. I said that the small turnout of many minorities at rallies, marches, and such led by Whites may be explained by them catching on to this two-faced behavior. And I believe if you translate that reaction into words, it would probably say,
"Why let you acknowledge the existence of my color today, when you're going to act like it's a stain to wash away tomorrow?"
Those sentiments of mine have not changed. And from what I see of the gay community here in New York, my feet are only going to get more firmly planted into the ground on that stand. The reason I do not take part in gay marriage rallies is because I do not like to stand side-by-side with so many hypocrites. You know they say "one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch". The problem is that in the American gay community, there seems to be too many hypocritical, two-faced bad apples for me to follow that motto. With that many bad apples as so-called "allies", let's say we accomplish the goal of marriage equality together, but afterwards, I still won't feel the safety of a brotherhood, because of the racism and ageism that is worst in the gay community than it is in the straight community.
I've seen these occurences during all times of the day, and all kinds of places in the gay community. From restaurants, to shows, to porn, to mainstream gay media, to simple walks down the street. Now, as you may have come to realize, I spend alot of time in NYC gay nightlife, so many of my findings to back up my statements can be found there.And they will prove valid, because it's during the night, your time away from wearing your "diplomatic office face", is when the true you, and your true friendships will be shown.
Such as how I noticed that while many were mentioning on Facebook and Twitter about becoming part of the Equality March in Washington D.C., and how we all need to "get on the bus", I noticed that many of those people were either promoters in NYC's gay nightlife who seldom hire Blacks as go-go boys or staff (but stand a better chance to be hired if they do drag), or patrons who I see often in my outings, but never socialize with a Black man (not even so much as on a friendly level), or dismissing a man in his early 30's while they are in they're in their mid to late 20's. Yet they try saying that we all need to be in this together. NOW IS THAT FUCK-FACED HYPOCRISY, OR WHAT?! You have no desire to have me in the same workplace or any space for that matter except as a joke, but because you have this goal you want to accomplish, NOW I'm suddenly your brother. Anyone who is any where near as self-assured as I am knows that once that goal of Marriage Equality is accomplished, they will have no idea of who I or any other Black and/or older man is. You'll be another Black and/or older person who because of your being Black and/or older is seen as too ugly for the job, too ugly to socialize with, and too ugly to get to know the intellect of.
This brand of racism and ageism seems to be infesting the entire American gay community. And I feel that if we are to show that we deserve equal rights, then we can't be worse than our oppressors like we are now ----WE HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN THEY ARE. We as a whole must stop being so racist that interracial dating happens less in the American gay community than in the straight community. We as a whole must stop acting like the age of 30 is over the hill, while the straight community acts like it's 40. In this case, both communities are wrong for their practices of ageism, but when it comes to who should be damned first and worse for the act of ageism - unfortunately, the American gay community has earned that ugly honor.
This is why I don't take part in rallies. Because this negativity would be tolerable if it was just a few bad apples, but it's not just a few bad apples. It's acres of bad apple trees. So while I believe in the fight, I will not throw my voice in to be amongst the hypocritical masses I've come to know. When I see this is corrected by way of the social scene, and gay media, THEN I will be in the sea of people taking my stand at a rally.
However, until then, I will show my voice by way of my writing like I have always done here - on my own. Inviting anyone who shares my hopes AND is void of hypocrisy to stand with me.
We are about to ring in the new year of 2010. Let's make 2009 be the end of the hypocrisy.
On December 4th, the daytime soap, "One Life To Live" closed showing the going-ons in different characters' lives simultaneously. One of those things was a gay-bashing.
I immediately realized how often gay-bashings are seldom done by one person. Think about it, not just gay-bashings, but practically every hate crime you hear of is done by a gang. I began to think, "Are these guys too cowardly to try beating a 'fag' up one-on-one? After all, these thugs always want to claim how much less of a man we are for being gay. So why not prove it by trying to kick our ass in a one-on-one bout?
It's because as much as they want to deny it, we are males. Therefore, we possess the same (if not more) strength and skill to defend ourselves in a one-on-one battle. And that possibility is a threat to their so-called "macho-pride". My feeling is that if it's such a threat, then maybe they should stand down, mind their own business, and just leave us be.
With this thought came the words with a melody.. And the 1st verse was born in about 30 minutes. What was the hardest part was thinking of what the 2nd verse would be. Then I thought about New York voting "No" on same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriage is a topic that I have never really tackled here, nor have I participated in rallies for. And I will explain why at a later date, but the fact is the decision affected me more than I anticipated or realized. So giving birth to the 2nd verse was a total shock to me. And yes, I said giving birth, because it was like going in to labor thinking you'll be delivering 1 child. You deliver that 1 child, then you get the shock when you wonder why are you still pushing, to discover all that time you were actually pregnant with twins.
Before porn, I was always writing lyrics and poetry about romance and social awareness. Now, I never lost either, nor my desire to write about them. But I was so busy pushing the porn persona, that making my voice of social awareness heard was no longer a priority. Which is why I'm glad I quit porn, because addressing things like gay-bashing and the hypocrisy of government officials matter. They need to be addressed by greater means than tweets or little quips on your Facebook page, like many porn actors are doing, if they speak of it at all.
That's why I wrote these lyrics hoping everyone of my fellow bloggers who agree with what I say here will direct others to my calling these gay-basher and hypocritcal government officials out - on how the derogatory names they call us is really them:
(1)creating a diversion to hide how they live in secret of what we do openly, and they envy us for it, and;
(2)using us as mirrors since they hate themselves for what they are doing in perceived shadows.
This is one post of mine that I strongly encourage you to link, and pass on to friends, and pass the lyrics on to guilty parties. More so than almost anything else I've written in the past. I hope you feel that I've spoken a truth that you already know, just put in a lyrical setting. If you don't already know this truth, then I hope that this helps you to become enlightened.
Faggy Bitch
Look at you needing a band
To make your claim that I’m not a man
You can’t beat me on your own
I guess your bitch-ass ain’t that strong
The word “fag” is your constant line
Proof that it’s so on your mind
Hating on me ‘cause I’m so true
Tells how true is so not you
You’re such a punk
You won’t beat yourself for your self-denial
Take note of your cowardice----
As it’s your own existence that’s vile
You mess of policticians
Believing all your own fiction
Claiming you’re marriage’s protection
Yet more than your spouse sees your erections
Using tax money of gay employ
To buy porn, hookers, and boy-toys
Play in the dark all you like
For what’s in the dark, comes to light
For now, hide behind Bible tales
As I’m leaving time to make you fail
For hypocrisy makes karma burn
With a lesson for you to learn
It may not be p.c.
In fighting for the rights due to me
To call you names
But I’ve grown tired of your games
You see, polite has been done for years
Yet gays are still living with tears and fears
So I’m turning the tables on you
Showing what you call me is really you
Faggy Bitch
Doth protest too much
With each gay you want to crush
That’s right I called your name
Faggy Bitch! Faggy Bitch! Faggy Bitch!
Faggy Bitch
You claim for God you’re doggin’ me
But it’s to divert from your secrecy
Envying how I’m free to be
Here I leave you to just wish and wish
I like this picture so much, I thought I'd share it with you all.
This picture was taken at the indooor pool party, DR!P. The guy in the picture with me is my friend, Kareem, who is the author of The Blackout Blog, which is where I found this picture.
I have also worn this swimsuit at another indoor pool party, Baña. I may wear it there again at their New Year's Eve party with their theme being "Fire & Ice". The red and blue seems great for that theme.
At least for now, but I may spice it up with something else ;-)
Dirty Fantasy: The Subway's Foreign Exchange (12/11/09) [View | Hide]
Thanksgiving Eve, I ventured over to the debut of Suite 69. I was planning to spend some time there then head over to Daniel Nardicio's Horn O'Plenty. But I got so caught up in the fun at Suite 69, that I never made it to Daniel's party. But I looked at it this way - Suite 69 was new, and I've been to Horn O'Plenty in the past for consecutive years. In fact, I've even go-go danced there, so missing it this year wasn't a sin.
Speaking of sin, I did do a bit of sinning at Suite 69, but believe it or not, that's not the focus of this post. It's what happened after that's the tale to tell.
I got cruised on the subway AGAIN. Did any sex come of it? Again, NO, but that's not the story. It's what this guy did to get my attention, and the fantasy it inspired.
I had to transfer for my final train to get home. The train was arriving as I came down the stairs. The stairs ended at the next to last car, and I usually get in the last car since it stops right in front of the exit of my stop. Even though I could have ran to get to the last car, something stopped me from making an attempt. So what stopped me? The sight of these 2 hot guys getting on the that next to last train car. I didn't think I was going to end up in a 3-way or something, but I think I must have sensed something if I decided to not try going to the last car, and make my exit easier from the subway at almost 4 A.M. Well, I was soon to find out.
It turns out they were Euro-boys. One tall slim blond, and the other about my height with dark-hair. The one with dark hair sat right across from me, and we immediately started exchanging glances. Adding a little smirk to his, made it clear that he was checking me out. The blond sat next to him talking to him in their native language paying me no mind. That's partly how I figured no 3-way would come of this. I was trying to figure out if they were a couple or not, but the blond's tone seemed a bit agitated, so I couldn't figure out if the agitation was directed at the dark-haired one in some kind of way, or if the blond was just venting. Either way, for the most part, it was a chain of people ignoring each other as the dark-haired one seemed to pay the blond no attention, and the blond paid me no attention.
With the uncertainty of what they were to each other, I avoided eye contact with the dark-haired one who seemed more and more determined to get a reaction out of me. I could see him watching me with my peripheral vision, and then - he decided to up the ante.
The dark-haired one put his right leg straight up and leaned his foot on the pole to the left of his seat. And by his continued glares at me, he wanted me to see him do this trick. Because I'm sure he knows like I, that any top or versatile gay male, and any straight guy is turned on by discovering that someone they fantasize about is flexible. So imagine how the video that played in my head when I saw that leg STRAIGHT up in the air was similar to this one:
It was a vision of me running over to him, ripping the seat of his jeans open, and also his underwear (that is, if someone as sexually provocative as he showed himself to be would wear any), then wet his eager hole and my cock, and ram my hard-on right into his ass, while the blond and everyone else in that train car watched. Watching me make him beg for me to thrust harder into him. With me able to see his hard cock (most likely uncut) creating a bulge in his pants because he's so glad that I'm inside him. And no matter what orientation the other passengers were, they would get turned on by our loud moans showing how we didn't give a damn about them watching, because we were glad to let out that sexual tension that sparked the moment we sat in front of each other in that train car. Then that dancer-tight hole would squeeze my man-milk out of my cock and I'd spray it all over the crotch of his jeans. And I would soon discover that he's a cum-pig like myself, so he insist on going the rest of the train ride wearing my creamy white load on him for everyone to see.
Then comes the reality, where I knew that couldn't happen, so I put my head down. Because of my tiring frolicking at Suite 69, I started to nod off, and I missed seeing these guys get off the train. By the time I picked my head up, all I got to see was them walking up the stairs. This got me a tad pissed off at myself, because you never know....had I kept my eyes open, I might have gotten an invite to wear out the ass of that dark-haired one, and maybe when the blond was done venting, he would have been interested after all.
Well, it seems that each subway cruising encounter I've had seems to come closer and closer to a real out-cum. So I think it's just a matter of time before a real encounter to tell a tale about does come to fruition. Stay tuned....
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