about

spanitalguy

Lookin for Friends, Dates, etc.

Welcome. Yes. I'm looking for pals, friends, whatever in the Boston area because I'm social and like doing almost anything as long as it involves other people...

So send an email or friend request and let's do something some evening or weekend.

Virgo You are shy at first, and because of that, it is hard for you to find lots of random sex partners. You are very intelligent and very into sex. You will only have sex with clean people, because you are afraid of getting an STD. You are also very kinky and imaginative in the sack. Your partners always have a hard time keeping up with you. Sex matches: Taurus, Capricorn, Scorpio

What type of gay guy are you?

You are the committed type! You like to have one guy and you don't want to share him. You don't need anyone else but him. You're into fucking him every night and no one else.

the

Everything

Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more atheist than religious, more dependent than loner, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted. As for specific personality traits, you are romantic (71%), innovative (71%), intellectual (67%), greedy (67%).

Stereotypes Punk Rock 67% Old Geezer 67% Prep 62%

Life Experience Sex 35% Substances 0% Travel 50%

Politics Your political views would best be described as Liberal, whom you agree with around 50% of the time.

Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Class. You make more than 98% of those who have taken this test, and 71% more than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13. By the way, your hottness rank is 81%, hotter than 97% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
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atlantis

Trip

Alert:

After four trips, one of which was to Kenya, I'm done with Atlantis for a while. The cruises, while fun, have the EXACT SAME entertainment every time. And those entertainers, while I like them, have the EXACT SAME material every time with very little change.

Now seriously... they've got a sweet gig. I can see having the same content for a season or year even... but every year? Year after year? Come on. Work a little.

I'm contemplating a trip to Egypt, cruising down the Nile and seeing pyramids and spyx-otti (the plural of spynx) :-)

On Racquetball
Does anyone play anymore? I'll start up a membership again if I could find someone to play with... (clean that up)

On Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Yes. I like sci-fi/fantasy shows. Most of them are gone and I move on to the ones that are available (whether they're good or not). However, I do enjoy the hygiene skills of a professional and consider myself (and would be objectively considered) socially adept in many situations. :)

And you won't see the d20 unless it's appropriate...

On Travel...
I made a promise to myself in 1995 to travel at least yearly to a foreign location and have kept that promise. I've been to Mexico, Canada (it counts) and countries in Europe, South America, Africa and China. I'd like to see more of the world with someone fun. As of the end of 2008, I've been to all of the populated continents so that goal has been achieved...

my

Pictures

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my

Blog

Phil's Place

Phil's Place - LiveJournal.com

• HK Update 1 (3/12/08) [View | Hide]

  So, I'm here in HK. Today is work day 3 and... You guessed it - I'm a little bored. I fear this won't be the typical ramp-up boredom during which you just "learn" and then will be required to produce something amazing. I fear it'll just be more of the same as there isn't much to learn - as they don't expect me to learn about 100s of applications that will be moving... They just want me to coordinate the work of others. I could have phoned this one in with miniml visits here. Oh well. I am, however, using this as a stepping stone onto other ventures international and spent some time bad-mouthing my company to some bigwigs at the parent company - mind you it was because I was asked to respond to a specific question regarding the "real deal" on my co. :-) And suddenly I have a 1:1 dinner with the asker of that question tonight. We'll see. Hopefully I'll do some exploring this weekend and have some fun.

• Holy "Cold War" Batman! (11/7/07) [View | Hide]

  Um... is it just me... or is the media showdown between schmuck-ass and Ahmadinejad cold war-esque... And now we're testing anti-missile systems that could defend against Iran... What? Is no one using the C-word anymore? I mean, I love that word! D'oh, I'm talking about Cold War... as a single-concept/word... ;-) Anyway... WTF

• SpanItalGuy-ology (10/10/07) [View | Hide]

  Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this as your name followed by "ology." MOUTHOLOGY Q. What is your salad dressing of choice? A. Parmesan Peppercorn Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? A. Wendy's for a burger or KFC when I have a hankering for the Colonel's recipe... but that hasn't been in a few years... :-) Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? A. This is difficult... But I always think fondly of The Oak Room (Boston) Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? A. 15-20%, usually determined by whether the client or I am paying... unless the service is off-the-chart one way or the other... Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? A: Vanilla Ice Cream - though my body might punish me terribly... Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice? A. The Meat Master! Q. What do you like to put on your toast? A: Butter TECHNOLOGY Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer? A: Laptop - none; Desktop - The Fantanas (it's uber-camp) Q. How many televisions are in your house? A: One in the NY studio apartment and 2 in my condo in MA BIOLOGY Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed? A. Right Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? A. Not that I'd reveal here... ok... a fetus... there! Q. When was the last time you had a cavity? A. Many years ago as a teen. Only had the 1 Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted? A. Lift? I guess this table at a friend's house. It wasn't heavy, per se, but cumbersome. Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? A. No. BULLSHITTOLOGY Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? A. I believe I already know it - well not the day, per se, but the situations that will need to have been realized before it can happen Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? A. I can change it... but I think I'll just keep it. I might make it what I already go by... Q. What color do you think looks best on you? A. Olive Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? A. Probably. Q. Have you ever saved someone's life? A. Probably Q. Has someone ever saved yours? A. Not to my knowledge DAREOLOGY Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? A. Yes. Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? A. Hm. It would depend on just how much of it was to be cut off and if I really needed or wanted the $200k Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000? A. Sure Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? A. Sure Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? A. No Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? A. Hmm... DUMBOLOGY Q: What is in your left pocket? A: Credit and other card holder Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? A. Um... I don't know it. Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house? A: Carpet in my condo - by choice - covering cement. Semi-wood in the NYC apartment with an area rug Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower? A: Stand... what? Q: Could you live with roommates? A: No. Not since college could I do that. I could live with someone if I were in a relationship again... Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own? A: 1 pair. Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops? A: I've been sworn to never speak of it Q: What do you want to be when you grow up? A: Taller. Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8? A: Heck, Franck. LASTOLOGY Q: Friend you talked to? A: Pablo Q: Last person who called you? A: Pablo Q: Person you hugged? A: Pablo FAVORITOLOGY Q: Number? A: 7 Q: Season? A: Fall aka The Season of the Dying... CURRENTOLOGY Q: Missing someone? A: Franck Q: Mood? A: Content for the most part... but struggling with a minor gas upsurge... tee-hee Q: Listening to? A: Rhianna - Umbrella (still it's only playing in my head) and some random international-sounding folks in this office... I hate cubes! Q: Watching? A: LJ, I suppose. Q: Worrying about? A: Nothing. I'm actually not worrying about anything... That's nice I guess. :-) RANDOMOLOGY Q: First place you went this morning? A: To the bathroom at 4am - fucking jet lag... or sleeping with someone in a not-so-comfortable bed... Q: What can you not wait to do? A: Find and declare, "the one." Q: What's the last movie you saw? A: Saw 3 in French with Franck. It's a good thing I had seen it before because French is hard to understand in that crazy voice there... Q: Do you smile often? A: Yes. Q: Are you a friendly person? A: For the most part... With the people I know, yes. With random strangers... depends on my mood. Do I go out of my way to be a dick? No.

• I know what it is now...! (9/24/07) [View | Hide]

  So... my doctor's office tried calling me 20 times today. It didn't help that Vonage was fucking up the auto-forward/simultaneous cell phone ring feature so that every time I answered, I couldn't hear... Anyway, they were calling because my visit to them last week and the resulting sample I was asked to give them (read: THE absolutely most disturbing, disgusting experience through which I've had to live) provided them insight into the fact that I have some... CAMPYLOBACTER JEJUNI Google it, read... ick. It's due to the not-quite-completely cooked chicken that I was given in Greece. Apparently the little bite I took prior to realizing that it wasn't fully cooked was enough to contract a little fun for the trip... And since fever can be associated with it... THAT is why I'm still not feeling super. But I have medicine coming shortly so, yipee... It'll be nice to be over this retardedness... Though, I'm also happy to say that I'm looking pretty and much thinner these days... It's awesome what a couple weeks of semi-constant diarrhea will grant you. :-) Anyway, I'm at work today coughing a little less and anticipating some racquetball play with midcent so I've got another 3 hours and then that'll start... Anyway, I spent a good portion of yesterday with Bob, Franck's friend/exchange student "brother" and it was great fun. We decided to see Alter Boyz and neither of us was completely aware of what it was about - at least I wasn't and I didn't go looking it up as I find I enjoy things a lot more w/o expectations - and it was absolutely hysterical. Bob brought over this gift he got for Franck's mother and I'm going to play courrier when I go to France next weekend. I'm so shocked it's next weekend already. It feels like it hasn't been any time at all... and I'm so looking forward to seeing... mon amie encore et puis je peux apprendre si nous nous voulons toujours... Le sigh... :-) Oh, so I did 25 push ups yesterday, and 30 today. I'm going to try, but I cannot promise - clearly, to continue to do push-ups daily... and perhaps even start daily crunching again... but baby steps... A bientot... A note on the "current music." I'm actually not listening to anything - but this song is in my head. :)

• The lessons we're forced to replay... (9/22/07) [View | Hide]

  ... I'm somewhat pensive this evening/morning at 1:38am... First: I'm sick. I've had a slight fever, incessant coughing (worse than any of you who know me have ever heard) and continual diarrhea. That's right, I went there! As such, I was bored tonight. I was on the phone with this guy who I went on a date with 6 months ago. He's somewhat intriguing and definitely a "fixer upper." So I was sane enough to know then (and now) that he was not the choice for me... He's seriously fucked up and while I won't presume to know enough to actually diagnose him, he seems to have narcissistic tendencies and always has stories of his semi-rock star life (he's got a band) and how tumultuous his life has been to date (he's almost 32) because of a break up he had ~2 years ago... Now, I haven't opened the can of whoop ass that is, "you don't know about tumult you dolt" and then enumerate a kind of tumult to put him in a place with some perspective... But as I said, I was bored and had some time to kill so we were on the phone for 3.5+ hours and so he rambled on a bit, I listened to music, started singing - it was surreal. He was going through his stories again and got semi-emotional at the same spots he'd done in the past and so I finally said, "it seems like all of these stories all of the time are meant to elicit some sort of sympathy or adoration or an acknowledgment of some credit.. but why do you want that? why should you get it?" He seemed to be taken back by this and then professed his love for me as I was the most brilliant person he knows... While probably true, I still threw up in my mouth and was just done with his BS... but he lingered on for another 1/2 hour and then decided he was to go to bed... I had stopped listening to him as much as I was earlier... Then, some 30-45 minutes after I hung up with him, I got an (apparently - as I learned this 10 texts into it) drunk text from this other guy I dates years ago who is STILL NOT OVER me... Yet he continues to only text me when he's drunk-ish. I told him I was sick and he should come by and entertain me... and that's when he told me he was too drunk to drive... It's 2:32 and he's still texting me. The drunk-dial conversation one text at a time is... dull... but I'm not yet tired and I'm sweating out my fucking minor-ass fucking fever... I might as well have something to entertain me... He just told me that I'm afraid to have a relationship because I'm always traveling (for work). Um... no, I'm just always traveling for work and I don't happen to be in a relationship. I texted back, No. I just need a relationship with someone who gets me, wants me, loves me and is secure. And that made me pause... and while I just banged it out quickly in response to his "afraid" comment... I think that what I typed is indeed the crux of what I want without making a huge-ass laundry list... because of course I want him to be intelligent and hot... or better, I conversely want to understand, want and love the guy who feels that way about me. And... since I'm on the topic, I'm thinking about Franck and know that I understand him pretty well for only having known him a week-ish (and realize there's much more to know - and I want to know him) and I know I want him (desire him) and... there's a distinct possibility, but I'm loathe to admit such things... so we'll just stop there... --- OK, the fucking constant buzzing of my phone in response to these texts from my digital-stalker is beginning to annoy me while I'm trying to think about Franck --- :-) So since I started thinking about Franck and since I have to burn 2 copies of the DVD of the photos I took, I started looking at the photos I have of him (and some with me) and I feel the feelings I had when I was with him. I need only look at him - or just the image of him - and it's back... Ugh. I know I will have an answer, of sorts, to what's going on by Columbus Day. I'm going to France to see Franck. He's already given me an email restating something he said to me in person already - that he's just out of a 7-year relationship and that he enjoyed the trip and meeting me but that he wasn't ready for anything, etc. And I am fully aware of that and agree and I've been thinking about it myself. I don't want to be the schmuck that is his rebound guy. I don't want to be the guy in the US pining over some guy in France. For the curious, I've posted a photo of him on my site. I can't wait and a piece of me dreads it... <snip> I just started typing like a crazy-person and I'm getting way ahead of myself... Anyway... I go.

• Weekend Update... (8/26/07) [View | Hide]

  I just saw a funny Saturday night live (because it was a best-of) and that inspired the title... The update... Anyway, yesterday I walked a mile back from this guy's house. I went over at just before midnight... and while that's normally booty call hour, we ended up playing cribbage and Boggle. Seriously. It was a good time. He's a good, if weird, guy. I'll see him again. Don't think I'm all that attracted to him, but I might be... He's good looking and some mix of something... Anyway, I ate a philly cheese steak sandwich (and some chips) for lunch and had some steak/chicken fajitas for dinner. -- Today (Saturday) I had a friend from Boston come down and we saw Xanadu. It was better than I could have imagined. ;-) I ate an omelette and wheat toast for brunch/lunch, a granola bar and then .9 of a bacon cheeseburger and not many fries for dinner - oh, and a vanilla milkshake... And there was walking... 2 miles today. Off to bed...

• So much randomness, so little time... ;-) (8/24/07) [View | Hide]

  Ok. So I hear that my current/former client is all but confirmed that I'll be continuing with them... The key, utterly annoying, bit of that is that it is as yet unconfirmed. The problem with that is that it technically prevents me from doing any future planning (extending the apartment lease which ends Wednesday, etc.) and will set up some annoying hassles with which I'll have to deal... but whatever... I've decided that I'm going to treat myself (for the birthday) to a cruise. I'm (most likely) going to be going to Athens on 9/1 and then taking the cruise from there to Venice and then returning to Boston in 9/11 so I can do jury duty on 9/12. With any luck, I WILL be selected to serve... Some of you might think me insane but I believe I'll absolutely enjoy the process... as long as I get on a case that's juicy. I should have the details confirmed by Monday - whether I'm on the cruise and the client or not... I'm excited. I'm not even all that bothered by the fact that as a single, I'll be randomly paired up in a room with someone with "smoking status" as the only variable of commonality. Ok, the update... So yesterday I walked ~1/2 mile to/from the office (for a sales call with my current client - but a different area). That project, actually, should be very interesting as there'd be a HIGH need for travel (to Italy, Australia, and other countries) to determine the requirements for a global billing system. I'm best poised within the company to lead this project due to my experience with the client and the global systems AND that I'm interested and able to travel. If I ended up getting on that project and having ~2 months in Australia (my last continent to visit - peopled) it'd be fucking awesome!!! I'd even suffer through the fact that I'd be working with a colleague of my former asshole-ish client (this new guy thinks that asshole was highly affective so that's worrisome). The travel would allow me to get over it... ;-) Anyway, back to updating... I walked a mile to the Y, played ~1.5 hours with midcent - um, racquetball that is... hehe, and then walked the mile back to the apartment. I think after 2-5 more sessions he'll be over the "readjustment phase" and fully reacquainted with racquetball. I already commented that he's got some decent kill shots... So I had 2 slices of pizza for lunch - the other benefit of having gone into the office - and a philly cheese steak & 4oz potato chips for dinner. I had the final burger with cheese on tortilla late-ish (4 hours before bed) because I was getting hungry again at 11:30pm... Yes, I was up till 3:30 - and slept until 1:30pm (which a couple of interruptions). Catching up on sleep while on "free vacation" is always nice... Ok... posting... Ciao.

• Randomness, an update, etc... (8/23/07) [View | Hide]

  So, having the week off can make one really get back into LJ! :-) I'll be playing racquetball with midcenttoday at the Y so I'll be hitting today's exercise quota which is nice... But I get ahead of myself... The "will" update... So yesterday, I did 55 push-ups. And that's it. I wasn't motivated for much else and didn't take one step all day. I just willed things toward me with my mind - surely that burns calories. :-) And then I cooked the hamburgers I bought (ahem, in May - but they were frozen the entire time) and ate 3 of them throughout the day (on a tortilla with a bit of cheese). That and the last 2 Oreo cookies... and like 1/4c of ice cream. I'm clearly going through all the remaining food in the fridge so as not to waste it nor incur too many expenses that a company won't be picking up this week... -- Ugh, I sometimes fall into the patterns of living like a poor person - go childhood! :-) Anyway, yesterday was interesting. In addition to wasting all sorts of time on dlist.com (think of it as a gay myspace.com that I only recently discovered), I spent time finding music bits to add to my page. I then started downloading all sorts of stuff and then Josh Groban was on tv - on Ellen actually - singing February Song. It's great. Its lyrics make me think of the death a friend-type situation... but I don't have any personally. Though while singing it - yes I sing - getting to the end of it would make me well up a bit... like I'm feeling something from a memory that I don't have... Weird.

• Will update for 8/21 (8/22/07) [View | Hide]

  I was contemplating not bothering... :-) So you're really that bored... So I walked about a 1/2 mile yesterday (to and from a date actually). The date was a quick drink at a local bar and we had some good conversation. He's smart, good looking, a mutual fund manager, European... More on that if there's a second date. He was telling me about how much work he was enduring while prepping for a vacation in Vermont. He seems sweet... I have to figure out what sort of funk I'm in... I'm not quite interested in random hooking up any more (literally don't have the energy or drive for it - which can be a little awkward when you don't quite realize that and meet someone new anyway... but we're not talking about that... ;-) I also find that I haven't been infatuated with anyone upon meeting them since I was... 22 or something... when I was on this date with this hot, HOT, HOOOTTT guy who was a tad older... HOT for TEACHER indeed... (yes, he was a teacher) but it wasn't returned... sigh... I was like a toddler comparatively speaking... Anyway, digressing... and now... <abort> So, the update... Yesterday was the day of being unbelievably hungry. I ate more (the rest) of the fajitas, the rest of the pesto dish from the night before and could have slaughter a field of cows and had all kinds of meat. I also had 2 Oreos - no ice cream though. I resisted the urge to buy fast food with fries - well, more like got tired of waiting on an unbelievably long line... but I did actually resist the urge to cross the street and fulfill the craving at McDonalds. So I ate healthier than I would have had the line been shorter. ;-)

• Will, progress update, etc... (8/21/07) [View | Hide]

  So, I've decided to try and have this be a daily post so that by keeping others informed, perhaps it'll help to reinforce my will and drive discipline... (or something) Progress Ok. So yesterday (8/20) I walked 1 mile to the YMCA (63 & CPW), played racquetball for around an hour and then walked the mile back to my place. Lunch consisted of 4 small-ish fajitas (maybe 6-8oz meat total) and dinner was a lotsa water, 2 slides of bread with butter, fettuccine in pesto with chicken (but since I was eating after racquetball, I wasn't quite hungry and had like 1/3 of it. I ended it with 1/2 cup of double churned, no sugar added, vanilla ice cream with 2 oreos. All in all, a good day I'm thinking... :-) Randomness... I'm 4 minutes from a conference call that I was asked to join ~30 minutes ago to cover for a partner. I'M COVERING FOR A PARTNER... but, you ask, am I a partner? NO! One might try to reconcile the two... the ONLY answer must be that they're on the verge of knighting me... :-) Or... for those doubters among you... they're just using me... Ugh. Oh, and the last bit of work-update... The uber-sales guy Bob worked his magicks successfully. The client who threw us out to cut expenses is taking back (likely) a subset of us to help them with their goals for Q3 and Q4... And I'm told I'm to be one of them... Of course, I already gave up the apartment and I don't know if it'll be available or if the bitch of a move will be introduced because of, yet again, my company's bad planning... Joy!

• To will discipline... (8/20/07) [View | Hide]

  For those who don't know me well, it's safe to say that I am strong-willed. :-) Regarding discipline, however, I don't know that I can say that I am disciplined. j_lovescoffee and I had this discussion, once briefly, a while ago and we ended up leaving the distinction (as I recall anyway) that discipline is something that can be demonstrated over the long-term while achieving some goal in the short-term might be done through the force of will. I would think, however, that there's a link. One can join the army (or whatever) to get discipline but if one doesn't stick to it, or just quits or whatever, that won't quite work. The will to keep with something must be required in order to convert (?) it into discipline or habit at least... What am I going on about? Like every (ok, only most) gay boy's dream it'd be a wonderful self-gift to have visible, defined, sexy, man-attracting abs. I heard from my doctor who did a body fat test that I'm at 15% - which is pretty awesome given I thought it'd be higher, but it isn't so, yay. This means that if I were to lose 10lbs of fat, I think I'd achieve my goal. That also means, that my favorite things (bread, ice cream) would need to go and I'd have to get off my ass and be a bit more active... Actually, being in NYC has been a great thing since the ~15min walk to/from work has started to grant me definition in places where I don't really do anything (more cuts on my arms) So... on the one hand I'd love them abs, and on the other, I love Cold Stone... I guess it's first a matter of deciding, really, just how important it is to lose the poundage and then making it so... Perhaps I'm being existential b/c I'll be 33 in a week... Or perhaps it's because I have a day (possibly the week) off and I'm bored... One can never tell with me...

• Simply amazing... (8/7/07) [View | Hide]

  It's amazing the power I apparently command... Now if only I could channel it with some control... While the following won't be certain until tomorrow morning, unless the sales god Bob (that is his name) can undo it: In an effort to control expenses (to hit a number expected by the street) all projects that don't have a direct impact on Q3 & Q4 are being canceled. That would include us. And while we do have indirect impact on the expenses this quarter, it becomes clearly direct impact for next year's potential ability to deliver on promises that would enable revenues... So, per usual, the public company is making decisions to try and influence the short-term while sabotaging their future... So sad... Do I care? Eh... Not completely, though I was getting used to the NYC apartment and life here... Who knows... I might have another project in NYC or Bob may work his magicks...

• Update... (8/6/07) [View | Hide]

  Ok. So I've clearly come to a point on this project where, I no longer care. I've even updated my resume. For those of you who don't know me, I like work and working. I'm a management consultant and I can consult the fuck out of any of you... and I'm not just patting myself on the back :) Seriously, I have specialties and proven experience in business process redesign, customer relationship management and project management of all kinds of projects (biz & tech). So why am I annoyed? Retarded politics which has resulted in a dumb org structure for the project team in which I report directly to 1 partner, we'll call D, on an activity and up through a different partner, we'll call J,(ultimately to the same D guy) on another bit. And it's dumb. And I'm only a little miffed because it should be me... but when I get over that... I've already gotten bored of bitching about it. I've been doing partner-level work for the last 3 years, generated $9M in the last 3 years, don't get paid for generating that business and it's about fucking time that they do. Top that off with a recent purchase of my company by some big worldwide company (no idea if this will be good for me or not) and I'm so ready for a different job... I do, however, realize the grass is greener... so I'm not making any moves any time soon, unless some company somewhere decides they want to shower me in riches and grant me absolute power... It's not like I could become more corrupt... :D

• Ages... (7/14/07) [View | Hide]

  It's been ages since I've posted. I'm actually about to go to bed right now, but thought of LJ, pondered a read and a trip to the UK to see some friends before they throw themselves further toward the middle of America... *sniff* Alas, getting vacation on such short notice, while not impossible for me, is a bit improbable unless I wanted to make a federal case of it. And I'd rather make a case for a partner promotion. :) That said, I'll settle for a free trip to middle America, courtesy of my client... Gotta love consulting... Random question: On a first date, imagine the other person said stuff like: - I like you a lot. - Would you want to date? - You're dangerous - which means I could let my guard down around you. Would that: a) send you running? b) make you curious? c) something else...

• Colleague opinion upgrade (3/7/07) [View | Hide]

  Ok... so I have upgraded my previous opinion of the colleague who was brought in to "own" stuff that I essentially do. While that has not changed and the reasoning is still about grey-hair (which, btw, continues to be annoying) my opinion of him and his potential value has changed. He produced good versions of things without my input and when we met to talk about them I saw this. When I actually paid attention to the content I saw that I agreed with most of what he did so that was good too... BUT, even more importantly, I discovered today one of my consulting class skills or feats around finding random supplies and such and I mentioned this to him. The conversation went: Me: (returning rather triumphantly with a power supply cord and extra electric hole punch machine) I must have magic. Colleague: (turning to marvel at my musing) Hm? Me: I seem to have a knack at finding whatever it is that I happen to need at any given time. It's like magic. C: You must be a diviner. I resisted the temptation to launch into the d20 math that would be involved, etc. The fact that he's got content and isn't incompetent is great, but the essentially-unprompted divination reference was just awesome. :-) (someone is apparently WAY too excited for a little game later today)

• What? Was that a shoe? (2/12/07) [View | Hide]

  That's right folks... it has dropped... So I'm on this project - which should prove to be great experience and a giant resume boost for an already impressive resume -- other people's words that I'm more than happy to quote. So... the shoe: There's a partner who is responsible for delivery and he's involved with this account. I haven't really worked with this guy but I did have 1 prior experience with him from my last project. From that interaction I took that he was extremely detail oriented, a micro-manager, and extremely anal/nit-picky. And that was after my famous 1-minute assessment. So he's somewhat day-to-day on this project and my assessment is more than accurate - it is painfully accurate. Gripe #1 I have a pretty status template that is custom and not exactly PowerPoint friendly. He made a comment about the sub-bullets and wanting the icon to be different. I told him it would require manually editing them all because of the non-standard/non-friendly nature of the template and he seemed to not buy into that reasoning. The next day he sends me an updated template - he had changed the sub-bullets, and said that the one he edited should be used in the future. Immediately, I was angry and once again if I had a supreme command of hellfire, someone would have died. However, I took a look at the template and did a quick test to see if I could cut/paste the new bullets with little effort. The answer was no. (I knew this, but wanted to verify.) I told him this. I also told him in an email with semi-polite business parlance that it was a waste of time. I then said, less politely, that if it was important that this other colleague of mine (the supposed head of the work I'm doing -- only because he's got grey hair) could do it while I did the heavy thought-provoking work. He wrote back saying that it wasn't important. Gripe #2 So... there's a fat, FAT, grey-haired/balding guy who's "the head" of this Project Management Office. I was told I'd be the head. So I'm annoyed/pissed. This is not to say that I'm a prima dona who cannot work for/take direction from other people... It's just that I can only take direction from someone who impresses me. The partner to whom I report impresses me. Some others do as well. This nit-picky partner and the fat-balding slow-talking moron do not impress me. Anyway, I'm hearing the nit-picky partner's voice and I'm thinking, time to leave... I mean, it is 7pm... UGH!

• Je travais encore! (2/1/07) [View | Hide]

  (which is: I work again for the linguistically challenged) I'm so excited to be working again. It's brought enough productivity back into my life so that, I can take a moment to procrastinate... Yay. :) And what's better is that it's not a bank - so I have unlimited unrestricted network access. It's awesome. The colleague I have is good too. He hasn't annoyed me yet (and it's been 1.5 days) and trust me - I'd know by now... and he actually got mildly annoyed at something that would mildly annoy me... yay! The project is also looking to be awesome as well as it will, most likely, give me the experience of having been a major contributor in the setup of a middle market insurance brokering firm. Now, if I can just get them to drop the business formal dress, we'll be a'ight Ciao...

• Sweet, sweet nectar of the gods! (1/3/07) [View | Hide]

  (I bet some of you were afraid what this post might be about... ) Anyway, I have this penchant, desire, ok - insane love for Egg Nog. And I have discovered something so lovely... magical even... Hood Vanilla Egg Nog. I don't know why, but it's so fucking awesome I cannot describe it. Good, good, good... I bought 4 quarts of it the other day (count, 4 days ago) and they're gone.... and worse, they're gone from shelves... I'm distraught. I can't go on. Oh if you'd seen me savoring it... taking small sips because the perfect aftertaste was the kicker that followed it and just made it all the more enticing... sex? blah! give me more of that nectar! Please, start a letter-writing campaign to make it a year-round drink... :)

• On love... with or without condition... (11/21/06) [View | Hide]

  To those of you who know me well, brace... Over the past few years I've been getting more and more in touch with my emotions and feeling the interim feelings between an event that would evoke a reaction and the feeling's transition to anger - at least, for those things that would eventually lead to anger... I don't actually get angry when something happens that would normally get happiness as a reaction... ;-) Anyway, I have learned to pause, just long enough, to get the sensations of the interim emotions like sadness and such... and these plague me at all sorts of times - usually when watching tv or listening to evocative music. ** break ** I'm not entirely sure what I'm trying to write or why and I don't do well with - what has always felt like looking for pity - but I'm a little sad... or a lot, I'm not yet sure. I know holidays are a trigger and it's not depression in any clinical sense and doesn't require any medication... but I've endured too much over the years and I think that the energy I once had to effortlessly craft defenses are no longer so effortless. Or perhaps, like rabbits, suppressed memories and emotions multiply... ** unbreak ** Anyway, I was watching "Brothers & Sisters" (a great show by the way - funny and dramatic and who doesn't like Sally?) and perhaps the problem was that I watched 4-6 episodes in a row (catching up via my TiVo while doing some work for an asshole - but I won't get into that, now - and it pulled on me more times than I would have expected. Sure, a sweet moment will tug on me but usually nothing's visible... but watching the greatly-acted moments of love and compassion between the family members (who are not without dysfunction) made me sadder than I have openly embraced in... well probably ever. It occurred to me, as I watched this family express all kinds of different unconditional love from all kinds of directions (brother to sister, to mother, etc.) and I noted to myself that, right now at least, there is no one that unconditionally loves me. And further, I wonder if there'd be any way in which I could unconditionally love someone. I like the idea of it and welcome the chance as being "swept up" in something but I doubt it could ever happen given my wiring and childhood "nurturing." I do, however, welcome the chance at being wrong on this... and I'd rather not wait 5 years per j_lovescoffee's prediction for me at 37...

• Imagine a sword... (8/27/06) [View | Hide]

  ...that has been stuck into you at about your kidney area and then pushed through your internal organs such that it comes out on either side of your groin. Now you've somehow managed it so that this sword hasn't killed you but when you walk (or move, breathe, whatever), the movements of your body cause the sword to move and further cut away at the things inside... THAT... is exactly the pain with which I am "gifted" to live with much of the time. Of course, it's because this apparent sword (aka: kidney stone) must be sharp and each movement is indeed, causing it to rip a little at something somewhere... And I ask... what the fuck for? What purpose do these stones, and their inevitable expulsion, serve and why would the body be doing this? Anyone? You'd think I was in my seventies or something...

• Hatin\' (8/19/06) [View | Hide]

  I am slowly beginning to understand why consultants hate travel. EVERY week that I've been going from bos to ewr has had some or other issue... UGH Though, I do still keep the freebies as motivation... I'll let you know when I've tired of it completely. Sigh...

• waiting... (8/19/06) [View | Hide]

  So, I'm here at the airport and trying out LJ posting via my phone. I guess it's a cool idea -- now I can post things that floor me immediately... Nothing flooring right now, but I was upgraded... small pleasures... Tata

• When boredom strikes... (7/28/06) [View | Hide]

  (Click here to post your own answers for this meme.) × I miss somebody right now. × I don't watch much TV these days. × I own lots of books. × I wear glasses or contact lenses. ✓ I love to play video games. × I've tried marijuana. ✓ I've watched porn movies.  (if this isn't the understatement of the century...) × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. ✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. ✓ I curse sometimes.  (ha! sometimes. :-)) ✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. * * * * * × I have broken someone's bones. × I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. × I hate the rain. × I'm paranoid at times. ✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. × I need/want money right now. × I love sushi. ✓ I talk really, really fast. × I have fresh breath in the morning. × I have long hair. × I have lost money in Las Vegas. ✓ I have at least one sibling. × I was born in a country outside of the U.S. × I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. × I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. ✓ I like the way that I look. × I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months. × I am usually pessimistic. × I have a lot of mood swings. ✓ I think prostitution should be legalized. × I slept with a roommate. ✓ I have a hidden talent. × I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. × I have a lot of friends. ✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex. ✓ I enjoy talking on the phone. × I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. × I love to shop and/or window shop. × I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal. × I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. ✓ I have a mobile phone. × I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. ✓ I've rejected someone before. ✓ I currently like/love someone. × I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. × I want to have children in the future. ✓ I have changed a diaper before. × I've called the cops on a friend before. × I'm not allergic to anything. × I have a lot to learn. × I am shy around the opposite sex. × I'm online 24/7, even as an away message. ✓ I have at least 5 away messages saved. ✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before.  (just the alcohol, and that's just sips) × I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past. ✓ I own the "South Park" movie. × I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal. × I enjoy some country music. × I would die for my best friends. ✓ I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist. × I have used my sexuality to advance my career. ✓ I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. × I have dated a close friend's ex. ✓ I am happy at this moment. ✓ I'm obsessed with guys. ✓ Democrat. × Republican. × I don't even know what I am. × I am punk rockish. ✓ I go for older guys/girls, not younger. × I study for tests most of the time. × I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met. ✓ I can work on a car. ✓ I love my job(s). ✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now. × I have more than just my ears pierced. × I walk barefoot wherever I can. × I have jumped off a bridge. × I love sea turtles. × I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. ✓ I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.  (and have done so already) × I am proficient on a musical instrument. ✓ I hate office jobs. ✓ I went to college out of state. × I am adopted. × I am a pyro. × I have thrown up from crying too much. ✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. × I fall for the worst people. × I adore bright colours. × I usually like covers better than originals. × I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays. ✓ I can pick up things with my toes. ✓ I can't whistle. × I have ridden/owned a horse. × I still have every journal I've ever written in. × I talk in my sleep. ✓ I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century. × I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. × I wear a toe ring. × I have a tattoo. ✓ I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with. × I am a caffeine junkie. × I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all. × If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder. × I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better. × I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner. × I'm an artist. × I am ambidextrous. × I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed. × If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony. × I have terrible teeth. × I hate my toes. ✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me. × I have more friends on the internet than in real life. ✓ I have lived in either three different states or countries. × I am extremely flexible. × I love hugs more than kisses. ✓ I want to own my own business. × I smoke. ✓ I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else. ✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal. ✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then. × I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons. × I like the way women look in stylized men's suits. × I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me. × I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds. ✓ I have played strip poker with someone else before. ✓ I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.  (emotional problems is such a bad... grouping phrase.) ✓ I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.  (I'm open to the possibility) × I can't stand being alone. × I have at least one obsession at any given time. × I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again. ✓ I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment. ✓ I'm a judgmental asshole.  (can be...) × I'm a HUGE drama-queen. ✓ I have travelled on more than one continent. × I sometimes wish my father would just disappear. × I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am. ✓ I am a Libertarian. ✓ I can speak more than one language. ✓ I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be. × I would rather read than watch TV. × I like reading fact more than fiction. ✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do. ✓ I have no piercings. × I have spent the night in a train station or other public place. × I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried. × I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night. ✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it. × I like most animals better than most people. × I own a collection of retro games consoles. × The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver. × I have hit someone with a dead fish. × I am compulsively honest. × I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired. ✓ I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers. × I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex. × I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders. × I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to. × I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on. × I dislike milk. × I obsessively wash my hands. × I always carry something significant around with me. × Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair. ✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others. × Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother. × I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.  (technically, no since this isn't my document, but I could do it by hand.) ✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird. × I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time. × Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed. × I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won. × I do not 'get' most comedy acts. ✓ I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing. × I don't like to chew gum. × I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it. × I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car. × I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years. ✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other. ✓ I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly. ✓ I love to sing. × I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up. ✓ I have a custom-built computer. ✓ I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it. ✓ I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human. × I've gone skinny-dipping. × I've performed in three plays. ✓ I enjoy burritos. × I'm Irish and loving it. ✓ I have a thing for redheads. × I am a twin! × Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'. × Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else. × I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes. × I sleep more than 12 hours a day. ✓ I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough. × I need more time to myself. × I wish I was more open-minded. ✓ I hope that I go really prematurely grey. ✓ I download songs from the internet. × I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend. ✓ I say random things to freak people out. × I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note. × I love playing Truth or Dare. × I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it. × Music helps me remember that I am not alone. ✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems. ✓ I think this survey is particularly long. × I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones. ✓ I can only hate someone that I love. × I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

• The Madonna Concert... (7/27/06) [View | Hide]

  ...so, like a good "member of THE committee" I attended her show. I've attended her last 3 shows (including this one) and loved them all for different reasons and each time I watch, I try and watch with an eye that would "figure out" as much as one can w/o actually talking with and knowing Madonna personally, what she's going for in the different depictions she has with each of her songs. I also just try to enjoy it and be in the moment but I'm prone to analyze. :-) I also found that I was a tad more in touch with random emotion than usual - and that's seriously annoying. I'm trying to watch/enjoy the show and some lyric of a song I know, or the music or something has "rung" something within me and I start getting all... "moved." It's really not what I'm looking for even with the eye toward analysis. :-) So, I endeavored to endure those emotions and watch/enjoy the show (which, wasn't hard because it was a great show). Of course, that bitch needs to get over herself and lose the fucking 85degree rule. I swear I could have slapped the shit out of her. :-) Anyway, there was one unexpected event in the concert: ---( minor spoiler content I guess if you haven't read a review or seen the concert... )--- In the opening to "Live to Tell" (the one where she eventually comes out on the disco ball-esque cross (that sounds too fabulous to type but it was more hype than anything) there's a video montage of different views and audio that goes over the stories of inner city types. Anyway, Madonna says in the middle of it (as one of the random story hooks), "Have you ever been hit so hard the air was knocked out of you?" WHAT? I wasn't expecting to hear that. So I was unprepared for my reaction. --- I was hit so hard the air was knocked out of me... I was 4-ish, maybe 5 (it seems like way before kindergarten so maybe 4, maybe 3 - it's so very hard for me to recall those early years) and I was vying for the attention of my biological mother. She was washing dishes and otherwise occupied. I recall I kept saying something like, "Mommy, mommy..." And I've witnessed this in other children as an adult and yes, it's very annoying. Apparently it annoyed her and she turned away from the dishes toward me and punched me in the stomach. I flew back, again as I recall, across the kitchen (and out of it - what could have been a good 5-10 feet-ish) and onto the floor. The wind was indeed knocked out of me and it felt like an eternity before I could breathe normally again. That was the first time (of several) I thought I would die. --- So, yes. I was hit so hard the air was knocked out of me. And I thought about that moment. And so I'm reliving the moment, as I do when I recall such things from my past, and it wasn't helping that Madonna's audio voice-over was TRYING to get the audience to feel other people's current misery... So I let a little bit of it out and when the time was right, I wiped up a bit of my memories (along with the sweat - did I mention the fucking 85 degrees?) and went about enjoying the concert. This event, like the others as they occur, has once again prompted me (in thought at least) to ponder writing them up. Part of me wonders if actually getting it down somewhere will bring some cathartic something. Part of me wonders if it would just be an exercise in recall and futility. And part of me is just staring at the potential hotties in the Newark airport as I wait, AGAIN, for a delayed flight. This time, however if I'm lucky, I'll actually get home earlier than my planned 2 flights with United via a direct flight via Continental... That'd be nice.

• argh... (7/21/06) [View | Hide]

  cell phones... Now, I like them. I use mine for work, when I travel domestically (since Verizon doesn't have an international service that makes sense) when I'm driving (usually with my hands-free device but even without it I haven't suffered from the suddenly-can't-make-the-vehicle-move syndrome... Perhaps it's a woman thing because it's always one of them on the phone and in my fucking way... But anyway, there's this asshole lawyer (some might say redundant but that's not nice) who doesn't know what an inside voice is. He gets a call and it's all: HELLO. TELL KATHY I SAID HI. OH I LOVE BILL. OH YES THE BBQ... and other such nonsense. I wanted to go over to him and take my power cord (since it's not fucking working on this powerless train) and slowly choke the life from him. There was even this guy who is sitting directly behind him who I'm sure would have helped... Seriously... there'll be an island for him and his kind too...

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Comment left on: 8/1/07 9:24 PM Hey! I'm your first non-Daniel friend! Yay! Seth