trash4ever's Profile
[MEMBER VERIFIED]
Last Login: Within 30 days
City: New York
State/Province: NY
Country: US
Age:
31
Height:
6' 0"
Weight:
165 lbs.
Hair Color:
Dark Brown
Eye Color:
Hazel
Body Type:
Swimmers
Ethnicity:
White
Occupation:
International Roustabout
myInterests
Interests/Hobbies
Music I Like:
I could go on and on, but the ABSOLUTE favorites...
Liz Phair; R.E.M.; Pixies; Scissor Sisters; Lucinda Williams; The Smiths; Morrissey; Velvet Underground; Beck; Soul Coughing; Red Hot Chili Peppers; Bjork; Moby; Stevie Nicks; Annie; The Killers; Matthew Sweet; X; U2; Richard Thompson; Bruce Springsteen; Tegan & Sara; Prince; The The; Fleetwood Mac; Deee-Lite; White Stripes; Suzanne Vega; Robbie Williams; Everything But the Girl; Radiohead; Pet Shop Boys; Nine Inch Nails; Pavement; Tom Petty; Weezer; Frank Black; Madonna; Pavement; Tom Waits; Tori Amos; ... see I'm getting carried away.
Films I Like:
Until The End of the World; Thelma & Louise; Slacker; Magnolia; Go; Clue; Working Girl; Blue Velvet; Party Girl; Terminator 2; Boogie Nights; Kill Bill; Signs; Heavenly Creatures; Strange Days; Fire Walk With Me; E.T.; North By Northwest; Swingers; Roget & Me; Working Girl; The Game; Adaptation...
Literature I Like:
Tales of the City; James & the Giant Peach; The Celestine Prophecy; Running With Scissors; Naked; The Best Little Boy in the World
TV Shows I Like:
Amazing Race; Survivor; New Now Next; Top Model; Runway; TP; Six Feet Under; Moonlighting; Wheel; Ebert & Roeper; and yes... the Idol.
myAffiliations
Companies
Affiliations
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DList URL: http://www.dlist.com/trash4ever
abouttrash4ever
I Invented the Night
âDaddy Issuesâ
So, Iâm into older guys. I donât know how this started, or when, if at all, I consciously realized this⦠but itâs true, older guys turn me on. When I was younger, and just dealing with coming out, I definitely only dated guys around my age, some of them younger. I think for me, at the time, it was a comfort thing. I certainly wasnât comfortable with myself, and therefore being around other gay guys that were essentially just like me seemed right, or at least⦠comfortable. After moving to New York and feeling completely insecure about dating, and the âsceneâ and how I fit in, I ended up meeting the man of my dreams⦠who happened to be twelve years older.
Weâve been together six years now and over that time I have grown up a LOT, and really become much more centered⦠and I attribute it a lot to him. Heâs young at heart but certainly mature⦠which is something I find very attractive, but is that the root of my Daddy obsession? Or is it deeper? Does it mean that I have some sort of unresolved issues with my actual father? I really donât think so⦠yet now with a new site called âDaddyHuntâ as well as the myriad amount of Daddy/Son sites on the web, it seems weâve all gone Daddy crazy.
I look at these Daddy sites and often will read profiles of younger guys looking for older guys, and the Daddies looking for âsons.â Now first off, I SERIOUSLY hope that I am not alone in thinking this has literally nothing to do with an actual father/son relationship. While I bring up my Dad, and if somehow my relationship with him has effected my taste in men, I can say WITH OUT QUESTION that the men I am attracted to are far from what my father looks like. And I have never EVER had any sexual thoughts about my Dad. So what is this all about?
Why does Daddy culture exist within gay men?
While lusting over young guys is pretty much a homo norm, I feel that this new âDaddyâ thing is rather new. But maybe I just havenât been paying attention. But I remember being younger and hanging with other younger guys and feeling very funny about being attracted to older guys. My social scene is much more mixed now (helped no doubt that the BFâs circle is also within his age group) but also I just find myself making friends with older guys as well. Itâs not a sexual thing with my friends⦠so what is that about?
Even with all these questions, as I cruise DaddyHunt and read these profiles, a few things become clear to me. For one⦠gay men know what their doing. Let me explain. One of the things that we all struggle with as humans is insecurity, and a lot of that insecurity is tied to love. We all want love and as humans like to, for whatever reason, make ourselves feel like we are either undeserving or incapable of getting love. In the straight world, men have successfully over the course of time got themselves into the position where they can get to expect things from women, but not of themselves. Itâs been pretty socially acceptable for an older man to date a younger woman, and a totally unfit man to be involved with a woman that totally is. We create magazines, videos, TV, and films that make woman feel like theyâll never be small, young, or pretty enough. And the kick with that⦠women fight with other WOMEN, not men. Itâs a crack up really. But the gays⦠the gays decide to come up with a name for a âtypeâ and then sexualize it. Sure we have our gym bunny pretty boys, but if youâre skinny and boyish youâre a âtwink,â if youâre a little chubby youâre a âcubâ straight up large a âbear,â thin but hairy an âotterâ¦â I mean, I could go on and on. (There is even an ongoing party here in the city called âRunt.â For short guys! And their admirers.) The idea is, whatever you are, however you look, youâve got a name for you⦠and thereâs someone that wants just that. And probably a party or weekend being organized somewhere for you. Lovely!
So is the âDaddyâ concept just a great marketing name for older guys that want to pork younger meat? I donât think so. I think the dynamics of this type of relationship are a bit student/teacher. An interest in learning life experiences through someone who has been there, and the interest to impart life knowledge to someone and re-live it through them. And while that type of dynamic may seem a bit temporary somehow, I disagree. I donât think we ever stop learning as humans, and while the hunter may be getting that in a life experience way from his Daddy, I think men of a certain age that find themselves in their or over their middle age need a re-connection to life and itâs mystery that is found through youth. Old dog, new tricks. In more ways than one!
Or maybe older guys just want to pork fresh meat. Neat and clean. And all I can say is⦠distinguished men are bloody sexy. I want a man not a boy! And there ainât no issue with that⦠Daddy.
"The New Masculinity"
So I saw a piece that featured this guy (forget his name, don't care, not the point) on CBS News on Logo that stated that the "new masculinity" that has recently penetrated itself into gay culture was false, that part of being"gay" was to accept the fact that we are not masculine, and therefore all the facial hair and "straight acting" were just cover ups for... well I can't remember his exact examples (and therefore another reason I'm not a journalist) but basically like acting girly, sipping Cosmo's, and learning the latest Madonna choreography.
If my thinly veiled snark isn't detected... I find this absolutely ridiculous. Mostly because I don't swish into a room, enjoy shopping (unless it's music,) or enjoy acting "bitchy," but also because the latest round of homo "new masculinity" is just that, another round. If you counted all the mustaches in the West Village from 1974 to 1979... my point would be made. So while you may (or may not) roll your eyes when someone quotes "Sex and the City," calls you "giiiiiirllllll," or does a finger snap un-ironically, I may (or may not) roll my eyes when you grow that full beard, re-discover flannel like it's 1991, or think ripe pits are hot. Its all pretty ridiculous isn't it?
Is being gay about being a man? Is it about being not-straight? Is it even about a dick in your mouth? It is, like a lot of things on earth, about all of that and none of that. Individuality is awesome, but being gay ( I think initially) is all about fitting in, for once. If there is one thing that every gay person goes through, it's about figuring out you're "different" and therefore not fitting in. So is it any wonder then, that you can find three guys at any time in GYM bar with a Pitcher and/or Catcher T-shirt? (Or is that like, so three years ago?) But do I look at that guy with disdain? ( "I mean... really? Were they all out of G-Star?") I bet he thinks he looks really cute in that t-shirt... and that makes me smile.
See, I like a Cosmo every once in a while. And I also like that muscle bear over there with the bulging waistline. I like watching guys smoke, and hate smelling it. Sure I know who Matthew Barney is, and I also love the new Britney record. I can dig you rubbing your face in my armpit, and yeah, I do a little man-scaping too. You know what? I live with myself a lot more than you live with me... and this is how I do ME. And part of my individuality is the fact that I like doing some things that everyone else is doing. Yeah I started to grow a beard after I discovered Bear Culture, and yeah I have a very specific way I trim it. (# 3 on the sideburns, #2 on the 'ÃÂstach and goatee, #1 everywhere else, neck shaved with razor.) I got an A in Shop in high school, and a B in Home Ec, this doesn't mean I'm going to build a house to prove something to myself, nor does it mean I won't make you breakfast in the morning.
I don't say these things to make any serious pointed demands for individuality. Just like yourself. As in... LIKE who you are, all of it. Because at this point, after all of it I've been through (and all of it I haven't) I just want to be happy with me. You know? So yeah, I'll take you on hipster, and discuss the relevance of Paris Hilton and Project Runway. And for the Cosmo-sipping fashionista... I'll have one with you, and maybe invite you camping. (No... not THAT camping.)
So I think that guy from Logo (who no doubt knows his way around a Cosmo and West Elm) is in fact the type of gay that most non-gays are used to seeing, and therefore questions his relevance in a world where gay men are free to be completely masculine, poor dancers, and think thermal underwear are a fashion option, is just afraid that his basking in (finally) "fitting in" and personal (and cultural) identity are dying out. Wouldn't you? And while I might personally find myself identifying with the new homo masculinity, I'll never say that I'm " ÃÂstraight-acting" as a definitive statement. Because in the end, a dick in your mouth isn't straight at all, it's like... totally gay. But gay is a lot of things, so lets celebrate them all. Shall we?
Because I'm going to be as gay and/or as not-gay as I want. Because that's just me. And I'm kind of awesome.
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myPictures (13)
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myBlog
We Cast Music
Rock, rap, disco, electronica, remix, folk, R & B, electro, 70's, 80's, new wave, soft rock, oldies, acoustic, retro, trip-hop, blues, indie-rock, alternative, brass, punk, Brit-pop, country, techno, world, acid jazz, reggae, dance, easy listening, funk, hip hop, house, neo-pop, new wave, soul, trance, you name it.
- Orally Fixated (11/6/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: Orally FixatedArtist: Róisín MurphyAlbum: Orally FixatedLike Allison Goldfrapp before her, Irish singer-songwriter Róisín Murphy, found her artistic footing with her sophomore album. After her intriguing debut "Ruby Blue" from 2005, she released 2007's "Overpowered" with a new found confidence and sleek musical direction. "Overpowered" was interesting because while I would classify it as
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- 16th & Valencia Roxy Music (11/5/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: 16th & Valencia Roxy MusicArtist: Devendra BanhartAlbum: What Will BeSeven albums in, which is pretty impressive as he just started in 2002, Devendra Banhart, probably the most recognizable name in the New Weird America/Freak Folk scene, is still going strong. Prolifically writing strange, yet endearing, tunes. "What Will Be" is another solid, if more of the same, collection of his
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- Bhangra Bros. (11/4/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: Bhangra Bros.Artist: FirewaterAlbum: The Golden HourI was recently introduced to this band via my friend Cicely, who's friend is making a documentary about them. Firewater is mainly singer, songwriter, bassist/guitarist Tod A. Originally, he formed the band with members of The Jesus Lizard and Soul Coughing, who contributed to the first album but were unable to tour. Since he's gathered
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- Abracadabra (11/3/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: AbracadabraArtist: The Steve Miller BandAlbum: AbracadabraWhen I was around eight or nine I went through a magic phase, which might be de rigueur, for most boys of that age. I'm sure that at this time 'magician' was an actual career option for me when I grew up (you may have had plans to be a astronaut) and I remember having a magic set or two and being obsessed with them. Well, it was
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- For Your Entertainment (11/2/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: For Your Entertainment Artist: Adam LambertAlbum: For Your EntertainmentWhile I was a fan of his when he was on American Idol, I really just liked the idea of Adam Lambert, more than I actually liked Adam Lambert. The recorded versions of songs he did on the show were so-so, and his first official single, "Time For Miracles" from the "2012" soundtrack was pure garbage balladry. Ugh.But I
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- Mowgli's Road (10/30/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: Mowgli's RoadArtist: Marina and the DiamondsAlbum: Family JewelsReader RequestMarina and the Diamonds is Welch born, London based, singer-songwriter Marina Diamandis. A mix of Regina Spektor, Fiona Apple, and... well there is another voice in there and I just can't place it. She's got the edge of early Tori Amos, and the show of Siouxsie & The Banshees. The Crown Jewels EP was released
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- Tardy for the Party (10/29/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: Tardy for the PartyArtist: Kim ZolciakAlbum: Tardy for the PartyBravo's "Real Housewives" series has been a guilty pleasure of mine for quite a while. I got into it from watching the "New York" girls, but have enjoyed the ridiculousness that's come from New Jersey, the original Orange County, and the just completed season two Atlanta. While the shows all share certain characteristics,
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- Pussy (10/28/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: PussyArtist: Lords of AcidAlbum: Our Little SecretAs novelty acts go, Belgium's Lords of Acid certainly had a good run. Forming in the late 80's and propelled by single "I Sit on Acid," the Lords music was a fixture of the early 90's rave scene, and enjoyed popular singles like "I Must Increase My Bust" and "The Crablouse." Too dirty (and cheeky) to go mainstream, but I am sure that
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- The House on Fire (10/27/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: The House on FireArtist: The BalletAlbum: Bear LifeThe Ballet are a Brooklyn-based electro-pop band that are about to release their second album "Bear Life" next month on November 21st. I actually know little about them, but believe they are releasing their material independently. I stumbled upon their website, and have been really liking their 80's-steeped first single "The House on Fire
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- The Only Time (10/23/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: The Only TimeArtist: Nine Inch NailsAlbum: Pretty Hate MachineFile under sort of hard to believe, but Nine Inch Nails debut album "Pretty Hate Machine" turned 20 years old this past Tuesday. (!!!) I discovered NIN in high school, not in 1989 when the debut came out, but in 1992 when lead Trent Reznor released the EP "Broken," still the hardest thing he's ever done. In retrospect, "Pretty
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- Id Engager (10/22/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: Id EngagerArtist: Of MontrealAlbum: Skeletal LampingThis is not new by any means, but I've been in a new-disco mood lately, so if you are to... this is JUST the thing! Athens, Georgia band Of Montreal (joke?) actually are workign on their tenth studio album "False Priest" which will be released sometime next year. I had never been a fan of the band, saw them once live and thought they
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- Murder on the Dancefloor (10/21/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: Murder on the Dancefloor
Artist: Sophie Ellis-Bextor
Album: Read My Lips
Here's an international smash hit that I somehow had never heard, despite it being RIGHT up my disco-loving alley. I'd written about Sophie during Calvin Harris week where I highlighted the Mr. Harris produced "Off & On" which I'm a big fan of. "Murder on the Dancefloor" is from all the way back in 2001, and
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- Light of Love (10/20/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: Light of LoveArtist: Music Go MusicAlbum: ExpressionsHere is an odd little album I got a couple of weeks ago and have been playing it off and on since then until it's sometimes goofy, sometimes melodrama, won me over. Music Go Music is a northern California band that I can only describe as 70's female singer-songwriter meets Meatloaf, with a mix of 60's girl group and Donna Summer-esque
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- Bad Romance (10/19/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: Bad RomanceArtist: Lady GagaAlbum: The Fame MonsterWhen I first heard her, I thought Lady Gaga was a fly-by-night pop fluke. And that "Just Dance" was a hip-pop dance cross-over piece of fluff. But as that song gained traction, and I succumbed to it's hook and charm, I finally got the record and was thrown. "Who is this woman?" A year later, you'd be hard pressed not to hear "Poker
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- M.A.G.I.C. (10/16/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: M.A.G.I.C.Artist: The Sound of ArrowsAlbum: M.A.G.I.C.I don't know much about The Sound of Arrows, but it was no surprise, after hearing some of their music, that they were from Sweden. A mix of Australia's Empire of the Sun, and a little We're From Barcelona, The Sound of Arrows seem to also get a heavy dose of their vibe from 80's fantasy movies. It's sort of hard to explain... but you
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- All is Love (10/15/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: All is LoveArtist: Karen O and the KidsAlbum: Where the Wild Things AreTomorrow sees the release of Spike Jonze's theatrical adaptation of the beloved Maurice Sendak childrens book Where the Wild Things Are. I'm a fan of Spike's other two films and was really interested to see what he would do in the fantasy genre. While an early F/X test got leaked and started rumors that the production
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- Stellify (10/14/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: StellifyArtist: Ian BrownAlbum: My WayIan Brown was the lead singer from Manchester's Stone Roses. I read an article recently about the band and how influential they were both in the "Madchester" scene in the late 80's and early 90's, and then beyond for more recent bands such as Oasis. I don't know much about the Roses aside from "Fools Gold," but have been listening to his recent solo
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- Baby (10/9/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: BabyArtist: Kylie MinogueAlbum: Love At First SightIn honor of seeing Kylie Minogue on her first U.S. tour on Sunday (!!!) I thought I'd share this fun b-side from her most popular record here in the states, "Fever," which spawned her first top ten single since 1988's "The Loco-motion" with the crazy infectious "Can't Get You Out of My Head." "Baby" is typical, in a way, to other mid-tempo
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- Hell (10/7/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: HellArtist: Tegan & SaraAlbum: SainthoodI just LOVE Tegan & Sara. I didn't realize they were working on a new record but "Sainthood" will be out by years end. "Hell" is the first single and it's as punchy and catchy as you'd expect. I really loved their last record "The Con" and it seems, if "Hell" is any indication, that they've gone back to the more new wave sound of "So Jealous."
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- Kling to the Wreckage (10/6/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: Kling to the WreckageArtist: The Crystal MethodAlbum: Divided By NightThe Crystal Method is an American electronic music duo that formed in Los Angeles, California in the early 1990s. It is made up of Ken Jordan and Scott Kirkland. The duo is known for their live sets and for having many of their songs feature in films, television shows, and video games. With the platinum-status album Vegas
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- See the Leaves (10/5/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: See the LeavesArtist: The Flaming LipsAlbum: EmbryonicWhile I suppose that a band worth any salt would never make the same album twice, or more, I am having trouble... what's the word, maybe enjoying, the new Flaming Lips record. After what I like to call "finding their sound" with 1999's "The Soft Bulletin," the Lips released two other great records with a new confidence. With their
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- 3 (10/2/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: 3 Artist: Britney SpearsAlbum: The Singles CollectionPeople love to hate Britney Spears. I don't really get it... I mean, when she was younger I wasn't so much of a fan, but recently, I think she's making some of the best pop/club music around. Her "evolution" continues with "3," an ode to threesomes. Perfect. I just found out that her current tour was the most successful of the year in
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- Bodies (10/1/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: BodiesArtist: Robbie WilliamsAlbum: Reality Killed the Video StarReality Killed the Video Star will be the eighth solo studio album of the British singer-songwriter Robbie Williams and is scheduled to be released on 9 November, 2009.Background informationThis will be the first studio album by Robbie Williams in over 3 years. He has worked with many producers in this period, including Guy
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- 11th Dimension (9/30/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: 11th DimensionArtist: Julian CasablancasAlbum: Phrazes For the YoungReally digging this new solo track from the lead Strokes. Reminds me just how much I miss the Strokes. This makes me very interested in the album.Julian Fernando Casablancas (born August 23, 1978) is the vocalist and songwriter of the American rock band The Strokes. He also has a solo album called Phrazes for the
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- Add This Song (9/29/09) [View | Hide]
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Song: Add This SongArtist: GusGusAlbum: 24/7GusGus is a band from Reykjavík, Iceland. They were founded in 1995. Their discography consists of seven studio albums and one live record.HistoryInitially formed as a film and acting collective, the group became mostly known for their electronic music. GusGus has had a varied lineup, including:Stephan Stephensen (a.k.a. President Bongo, Alfred More, or
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myFriends'Comments (212)
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cosmicmutt
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Comment left on: 6/16/08 9:54 AM
Hey you. Felt like checking it with you.
What's going on?
Hope you have a great week.
:)
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cuteredhead
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Comment left on: 6/8/08 1:36 AM
When do I get to see you again in real life? :)
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e30300
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Comment left on: 5/24/08 1:15 PM
Hi sexy... Thanks for the add!!!
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martins
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Comment left on: 5/22/08 2:30 PM
Hi, thanks for the add. You're really gorgeous.
Martins
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pacjunior2
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Comment left on: 5/18/08 7:46 PM
just stopping by to say hola. i like what u have to say in your profile. c ya. take care.
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MAC5950
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Comment left on: 5/12/08 12:46 PM
Best profile on DList!
ps: i also have been listening to the scarlett johansson album for a couple weeks and i still don't know what to make of it... i think i like it??? i will say, however, that the production is stellar!
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martian
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Comment left on: 4/30/08 7:21 AM
i've read your profile commentary twice now and must say i love it! :) you pretty much hit the nail on the head.
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brooklynRUNT
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Comment left on: 4/26/08 6:18 PM
i love your photos and your music selection! :)
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jsstuff
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Comment left on: 3/23/08 1:40 PM
hey... love what u say on ur profile... u go man! or u go girl (if ur gonna be put in a box). have a great one
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cuteredhead
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Comment left on: 3/20/08 10:08 PM
Wanna find out? :)
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