 trash4ever's
Profile
[MEMBER VERIFIED]
Last Login: More than a month
City: New York
State/Province: NY
Country: US
Age:
31
Height:
6' 0"
Weight:
165 lbs.
Hair Color:
Dark Brown
Eye Color:
Hazel
Body Type:
Swimmers
Ethnicity:
White
Occupation:
International Roustabout
myInterests
Interests/Hobbies
Music I Like:
I could go on and on, but the ABSOLUTE favorites...
Liz Phair; R.E.M.; Pixies; Scissor Sisters; Lucinda Williams; The Smiths; Morrissey; Velvet Underground; Beck; Soul Coughing; Red Hot Chili Peppers; Bjork; Moby; Stevie Nicks; Annie; The Killers; Matthew Sweet; X; U2; Richard Thompson; Bruce Springsteen; Tegan & Sara; Prince; The The; Fleetwood Mac; Deee-Lite; White Stripes; Suzanne Vega; Robbie Williams; Everything But the Girl; Radiohead; Pet Shop Boys; Nine Inch Nails; Pavement; Tom Petty; Weezer; Frank Black; Madonna; Pavement; Tom Waits; Tori Amos; ... see I'm getting carried away.
Films I Like:
Until The End of the World; Thelma & Louise; Slacker; Magnolia; Go; Clue; Working Girl; Blue Velvet; Party Girl; Terminator 2; Boogie Nights; Kill Bill; Signs; Heavenly Creatures; Strange Days; Fire Walk With Me; E.T.; North By Northwest; Swingers; Roget & Me; Working Girl; The Game; Adaptation...
Literature I Like:
Tales of the City; James & the Giant Peach; The Celestine Prophecy; Running With Scissors; Naked; The Best Little Boy in the World
TV Shows I Like:
Amazing Race; Survivor; New Now Next; Top Model; Runway; TP; Six Feet Under; Moonlighting; Wheel; Ebert & Roeper; and yes... the Idol.
myAffiliations
Companies
Affiliations
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DList URL: http://www.dlist.com/trash4ever
abouttrash4ever
I Invented the Night
âDaddy Issuesâ
So, Iâm into older guys. I donât know how this started, or when, if at all, I consciously realized this⦠but itâs true, older guys turn me on. When I was younger, and just dealing with coming out, I definitely only dated guys around my age, some of them younger. I think for me, at the time, it was a comfort thing. I certainly wasnât comfortable with myself, and therefore being around other gay guys that were essentially just like me seemed right, or at least⦠comfortable. After moving to New York and feeling completely insecure about dating, and the âsceneâ and how I fit in, I ended up meeting the man of my dreams⦠who happened to be twelve years older.
Weâve been together six years now and over that time I have grown up a LOT, and really become much more centered⦠and I attribute it a lot to him. Heâs young at heart but certainly mature⦠which is something I find very attractive, but is that the root of my Daddy obsession? Or is it deeper? Does it mean that I have some sort of unresolved issues with my actual father? I really donât think so⦠yet now with a new site called âDaddyHuntâ as well as the myriad amount of Daddy/Son sites on the web, it seems weâve all gone Daddy crazy.
I look at these Daddy sites and often will read profiles of younger guys looking for older guys, and the Daddies looking for âsons.â Now first off, I SERIOUSLY hope that I am not alone in thinking this has literally nothing to do with an actual father/son relationship. While I bring up my Dad, and if somehow my relationship with him has effected my taste in men, I can say WITH OUT QUESTION that the men I am attracted to are far from what my father looks like. And I have never EVER had any sexual thoughts about my Dad. So what is this all about?
Why does Daddy culture exist within gay men?
While lusting over young guys is pretty much a homo norm, I feel that this new âDaddyâ thing is rather new. But maybe I just havenât been paying attention. But I remember being younger and hanging with other younger guys and feeling very funny about being attracted to older guys. My social scene is much more mixed now (helped no doubt that the BFâs circle is also within his age group) but also I just find myself making friends with older guys as well. Itâs not a sexual thing with my friends⦠so what is that about?
Even with all these questions, as I cruise DaddyHunt and read these profiles, a few things become clear to me. For one⦠gay men know what their doing. Let me explain. One of the things that we all struggle with as humans is insecurity, and a lot of that insecurity is tied to love. We all want love and as humans like to, for whatever reason, make ourselves feel like we are either undeserving or incapable of getting love. In the straight world, men have successfully over the course of time got themselves into the position where they can get to expect things from women, but not of themselves. Itâs been pretty socially acceptable for an older man to date a younger woman, and a totally unfit man to be involved with a woman that totally is. We create magazines, videos, TV, and films that make woman feel like theyâll never be small, young, or pretty enough. And the kick with that⦠women fight with other WOMEN, not men. Itâs a crack up really. But the gays⦠the gays decide to come up with a name for a âtypeâ and then sexualize it. Sure we have our gym bunny pretty boys, but if youâre skinny and boyish youâre a âtwink,â if youâre a little chubby youâre a âcubâ straight up large a âbear,â thin but hairy an âotterâ¦â I mean, I could go on and on. (There is even an ongoing party here in the city called âRunt.â For short guys! And their admirers.) The idea is, whatever you are, however you look, youâve got a name for you⦠and thereâs someone that wants just that. And probably a party or weekend being organized somewhere for you. Lovely!
So is the âDaddyâ concept just a great marketing name for older guys that want to pork younger meat? I donât think so. I think the dynamics of this type of relationship are a bit student/teacher. An interest in learning life experiences through someone who has been there, and the interest to impart life knowledge to someone and re-live it through them. And while that type of dynamic may seem a bit temporary somehow, I disagree. I donât think we ever stop learning as humans, and while the hunter may be getting that in a life experience way from his Daddy, I think men of a certain age that find themselves in their or over their middle age need a re-connection to life and itâs mystery that is found through youth. Old dog, new tricks. In more ways than one!
Or maybe older guys just want to pork fresh meat. Neat and clean. And all I can say is⦠distinguished men are bloody sexy. I want a man not a boy! And there ainât no issue with that⦠Daddy.
"The New Masculinity"
So I saw a piece that featured this guy (forget his name, don't care, not the point) on CBS News on Logo that stated that the "new masculinity" that has recently penetrated itself into gay culture was false, that part of being"gay" was to accept the fact that we are not masculine, and therefore all the facial hair and "straight acting" were just cover ups for... well I can't remember his exact examples (and therefore another reason I'm not a journalist) but basically like acting girly, sipping Cosmo's, and learning the latest Madonna choreography.
If my thinly veiled snark isn't detected... I find this absolutely ridiculous. Mostly because I don't swish into a room, enjoy shopping (unless it's music,) or enjoy acting "bitchy," but also because the latest round of homo "new masculinity" is just that, another round. If you counted all the mustaches in the West Village from 1974 to 1979... my point would be made. So while you may (or may not) roll your eyes when someone quotes "Sex and the City," calls you "giiiiiirllllll," or does a finger snap un-ironically, I may (or may not) roll my eyes when you grow that full beard, re-discover flannel like it's 1991, or think ripe pits are hot. Its all pretty ridiculous isn't it?
Is being gay about being a man? Is it about being not-straight? Is it even about a dick in your mouth? It is, like a lot of things on earth, about all of that and none of that. Individuality is awesome, but being gay ( I think initially) is all about fitting in, for once. If there is one thing that every gay person goes through, it's about figuring out you're "different" and therefore not fitting in. So is it any wonder then, that you can find three guys at any time in GYM bar with a Pitcher and/or Catcher T-shirt? (Or is that like, so three years ago?) But do I look at that guy with disdain? ( "I mean... really? Were they all out of G-Star?") I bet he thinks he looks really cute in that t-shirt... and that makes me smile.
See, I like a Cosmo every once in a while. And I also like that muscle bear over there with the bulging waistline. I like watching guys smoke, and hate smelling it. Sure I know who Matthew Barney is, and I also love the new Britney record. I can dig you rubbing your face in my armpit, and yeah, I do a little man-scaping too. You know what? I live with myself a lot more than you live with me... and this is how I do ME. And part of my individuality is the fact that I like doing some things that everyone else is doing. Yeah I started to grow a beard after I discovered Bear Culture, and yeah I have a very specific way I trim it. (# 3 on the sideburns, #2 on the 'ÃÂstach and goatee, #1 everywhere else, neck shaved with razor.) I got an A in Shop in high school, and a B in Home Ec, this doesn't mean I'm going to build a house to prove something to myself, nor does it mean I won't make you breakfast in the morning.
I don't say these things to make any serious pointed demands for individuality. Just like yourself. As in... LIKE who you are, all of it. Because at this point, after all of it I've been through (and all of it I haven't) I just want to be happy with me. You know? So yeah, I'll take you on hipster, and discuss the relevance of Paris Hilton and Project Runway. And for the Cosmo-sipping fashionista... I'll have one with you, and maybe invite you camping. (No... not THAT camping.)
So I think that guy from Logo (who no doubt knows his way around a Cosmo and West Elm) is in fact the type of gay that most non-gays are used to seeing, and therefore questions his relevance in a world where gay men are free to be completely masculine, poor dancers, and think thermal underwear are a fashion option, is just afraid that his basking in (finally) "fitting in" and personal (and cultural) identity are dying out. Wouldn't you? And while I might personally find myself identifying with the new homo masculinity, I'll never say that I'm " ÃÂstraight-acting" as a definitive statement. Because in the end, a dick in your mouth isn't straight at all, it's like... totally gay. But gay is a lot of things, so lets celebrate them all. Shall we?
Because I'm going to be as gay and/or as not-gay as I want. Because that's just me. And I'm kind of awesome.
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myBlog
We Cast Music
Rock, rap, disco, electronica, remix, folk, R & B, electro, 70's, 80's, new wave, soft rock, oldies, acoustic, retro, trip-hop, blues, indie-rock, alternative, brass, punk, Brit-pop, country, techno, world, acid jazz, reggae, dance, easy listening, funk, hip hop, house, neo-pop, new wave, soul, trance, you name it.
- Genius: Panic On / Hit (11/20/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: Panic On
Artist: Madder Rose
Album: Panic On
Selection: Hit
Artist: The Sugarcubes
Album: Stick Around for Joy
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
Panic On - Madder Rose
Feed The Tree - Belly
Gigantic - Pixies
Girlfriend In A Coma - The Smiths
In Between Days - The Cure
Rebellion (Lies) - The Arcade Fire
1979 (Moby remix) - Smashing Pumpkins
All Apologies - Nirvana
Smile - Lily
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- Genius: We're From Barcelona / Tony the Beat (11/19/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: We’re From Barcelona
Artist: I’m From Barcelona
Album: Let Me Introduce My Friends
Selection: Tony the Beat
Artist: The Sounds
Album: Dying To Say This To You
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
We're From Barcelona - I'm From Barcelona
Oh Mandy - The Spinto Band
Get Myself Into It - The Rapture
Four to the Floor(Thin White Duke Remix) - Starsailor
Accident & Emergency -
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- Genius: Nude / Kids (11/18/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: Nude
Artist: Radiohead
Album: In Rainbows
Selection: MGMT
Artist: Kids
Album: Oracular Spectacular
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
Nude - Radiohead
Wake Up - The Arcade Fire
Harrowdown Hill - Thom Yorke
Run - Gnarls Barkley
Ready For The Floor - Hot Chip
Dashboard - Modest Mouse
First Day Of My Life - Bright Eyes
Blue Orchid - The White Stripes
Sex On Fire - Kings of Leon
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- Genius: Right Back Where We Started From / Rock the Boat (11/17/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: Right Back Where We Started From
Artist: Maxine Nightingale
Album: Right Back Where We Started From
Selection: Rock the Boat
Artist: The Hues Corporation
Album: Rock the Boat
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
Right Back Where We Started From - Maxine Nightingale
Don't Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston
If I Can't Have You - Yvonne Elliman
Rock The Boat - The Hues Corporation
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- Genius: Traffic Jam / Ire Feelings (11/14/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: Traffic Jam
Artist: Stephen Marley
Album: Mind Control
Selection: Ire Feelings (Leggo Skanka)
Artist: Rupie Edwards
Album: Ire Feelings
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
The Traffic Jam (Feat. Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley) - Stephen Marley
Welcome to Jamrock - Damian Marley
Turn Your Lights Down Low - Bob Marley
You Can Get It If You Really Want - Jimmy Cliff
Three Piece Suit -
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- Genius: Digital Ghost / Insoluble (11/13/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: Digital Ghost
Artist: Tori Amos
Album: American Doll Posse
Selection: Insoluble
Artist: Dave Gahan
Album: Hourglass
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
Digital Ghost - Tori Amos
Not Ready To Love - Rufus Wainwright
Lay Me Down - Cyndi Lauper
Monster love - Goldfrapp
The Great Beyond - Aimee Mann
Oh Well - Fiona Apple
John, Let Me Go - Sondre Lerche
Northern Lad - Tori Amos
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- Genius: The Girls / Something Good '08 (11/12/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: The Girls
Artist: Calvin Harris
Album: I Invented Disco
Selection: Something Good '08 (Ian Carey Remix)
Artist: Utah Saints
Album: Something Good ‘08
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
The Girls - Calvin Harris
NYC Beat - Armand Van Helden
Get Down - Groove Armada
Let Me Think About It (Club Mix) - Ida Corr Vs. Fedde Le Grand
Cry For You - September
When You Touch Me -
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- Genius: Goodbye Horses / Magic (11/11/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: Goodbye Horses
Artist: Q Lazzarus
Album: Married to the Mob
Selection: Magic
Artist: Mick Smiley
Album: Ghostbusters
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
Good Bye Horses - Q Lazzarus
Science Fiction/Double Feature - Richard O'Brien
No Sex For Ben - The Rapture
Ever Fallen in Love - Pete Yorn
A Perfect Lie (Theme Song) (Gabriel & Dresden Remix) - The Engine Room
Because We Can -
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- Genius: The Magic Position / Gravity's Rainbow (11/10/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: The Magic Position
Artist: Patrick Wolf
Album: The Magic Position
Selection: Gravity’s Rainbow
Artist: The Klaxons
Album: Myths of the Near Future
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
The Magic Position - Patrick Wolf
Monkey Man - Amy Winehouse
Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above - CSS
Gravity's Rainbow - Klaxons
Grip Like A Vice - The Go! Team
Whoo! Alright-Yeah...
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- Genius: Young Folks / Ice Cream (11/7/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: Young Folks
Artist: Peter, Bjorn, & John
Album: Writer’s Block
Selection: Ice Cream
Artist: New Young Pony Club
Album: Fantastic Playroom
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
Young Folks - Peter Bjorn & John
Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games - Of Montreal
The Skin Of My Yellow Country Teeth - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Fake Palindromes - Andrew Bird
Down Boy - Yeah Yeah
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- Genius: In Dreams / I Go to Pieces (11/6/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: In Dreams
Artist: Roy Orbison
Album: In Dreams
Selection: I Go to Pieces
Artist: Peter & Gordon
Album: The Ultimate Peter & Gordon
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
In Dreams - Roy Orbison
Blue Velvet - Bobby Vinton
Come Softly To Me - The Fleetwoods
The Great Pretender - The Platters
A World Without Love - Peter & Gordon
Peggy Sue - Buddy Holly
In My Room - Beach Boys
Just
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- Genius: Paradise - Change / Native New Yorker - Odyssey (11/5/08) [View | Hide]
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Genius’d Song: Paradise
Artist: Change
Album: Journey into Paradise: The Larry Levan Story
Selection: Native New Yorker
Artist: Odyssey
Album: Native New Yorker
Genius Results:
Song - Artist
Paradise - Change
It Should Have Been You - Gwen Guthrie
Down To Love Town (Dim's Secret Re-Edit) - The Originals
The Boss (Original 12" Mix)- Diana Ross
He's The Greatest Dancer - Sister Sledge
Ready
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- Genius: Bind - Hercules & Love Affair / You Sonna Want Me - Tiga (11/4/08) [View | Hide]
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Song: Blind
Artist: Hercules & Love Affair
Album: Hercules & Love Affair
Selection: You Gonna Want Me
Artist: Tiga
Album: Sexor
Genius Results:
Artist - Song
Hercules And Love Affair - Blind
Cut Copy - Hearts On Fire
The Whip - Trash
The Knife - Silent Shout (Williams Acidic Circuits remix)
Simian Mobile Disco - It's The Beat
Tiga - You Gonna Want Me
Björk - Earth Intruders (Single Edit)
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- It's Real (11/3/08) [View | Hide]
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A stroke of Genius….
Dear Readers,
My posts have been a little inconsistent as of late due to a new writing project I’m working on for the entire month of November. I didn’t want to shut the blog down for a month so I came up with an idea…
First, I don’t know what player you use on your computer to play music but I can’t really recommend iTunes enough. Sure I’m a Mac head, but if Windows
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- White Heat (10/29/08) [View | Hide]
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Song: White Heat
Artist: Madonna
Album: True Blue
I remember seeing an interview with Madonna just prior to “True Blue” coming out. The album was finished, and ready to go, but was being delayed because… she had too many singles still getting heavy rotation from “Like a Virgin!” In retrospect, it’s kind of daunting to thing that Madge released within five years “Virgin,” “True Blue,” and “
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- Speedway (10/28/08) [View | Hide]
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Song: Speedway
Artist: Morrissey
Album: Vauxhall and I
I thought this week I would focus on some album tracks. Since the onset of the Billboard singles chart, and music as a business overtaking the artistic aspect of music writing, singles are key… and they make the money. But still there can be hidden gems from artists you dig even though you wouldn’t have heard them on the radio. More
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- Everyone’s At It (10/24/08) [View | Hide]
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Song: Everyone’s At It
Artist: Lily Allen
Album: It’s Not Me, It’s You
I’ve been eagerly awaiting some new official music from the UK’s fun, bratty, honest, ska-lite, Lily Allen. I was a big fan of her debut “Alright , Still” and the wait has been a little too long in my book. But the girl has been having a lot going on in her life, a miss-carriage, the end of that relationship (with a
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- Summerboy (10/23/08) [View | Hide]
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Song; Summerboy
Artist: Lady Gaga
Album: The Fame
I’ve been listening to the debut album by electro-pop hopeful Lady Gaga for a while and initially I thought it was filled with some just okay dance tracks, and some that were laugh out loud stupid. But over time I’ve continued to add it to my daily playlist and the songs slowly took hold. A lot of it remains pretty stupid, but it’s a
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- A Change is Gonna Come (10/22/08) [View | Hide]
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Song: A Change is Gonna Come
Artist: Seal
Album: Soul
Hot off the heels of his amazing dance record “System” (did anyone buy that? It really was great) from last year, Seal is releasing an album of classic soul covers. The set includes Curtis Mayfield’s “It’s Alright” and “ People Get Ready,” as well as It’s a Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World” by James Brown, and Knock on Wood” and “If You Don’t
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- Mind in the Gutter (10/21/08) [View | Hide]
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Song: Mind in the Gutter
Artist: Chris Crocker
Album: Turned On
So what’s worse than Britney Spears? How about a “personality” that basically only exists because of the pop star? Chris Crocker was just another YouTube/MySpace nobody, trying to make a name for himself from his home recorded videos he posted on his page. It all came together when he recorded this, now infamous:
With the
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- Great Day (10/20/08) [View | Hide]
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Song: Great Day
Artist: Lindsay Buckingham
Album: Gift of Screws
I was in a discussion a while back with a group of big time music fans and the question was asked which band was the quintessential, or best, American rock band. Amazingly, as we all thought about the best bands that have existed you soon realize… like NONE of them are American. Zeppelin, the Who, U2, Stones, Beatles… all not
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- Belly Bongo (10/17/08) [View | Hide]
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Song: Belly Bongo
Artist: Sonny J
Album: Disastro
So here was a fun discovery, despite the Big Beat movement being basically over, Sonny J revives the genre with a varied album of big dumb dance songs mixed with some soulful introspective tracks. His debut album “Disastro” came out in June, though I had never heard of him, or it. Apparently he dates Lauren Conrad. Ugh.
Oh well… the record
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- Radio Retaliation (10/16/08) [View | Hide]
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Song: Radio Retaliation
Artist: Thievery Corporation
Album: Radio Retaliation
I’ve been really digging this record over the past couple weeks. I don’t listen to a lot of dub or acid jazz (a little boring okay?) but this album has really grabbed me. This is the first full record I’ve heard from Thievery Corporation, who hail from D.C. This is their 7th record since they started in 1999.
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- Available (For You) (10/15/08) [View | Hide]
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Song: Available (For You)
Artist: Scissor Sisters
Album: Laura Single
Last night I was lucky enough to be in the small attendance or a secret show by New York’s own Scissor Sisters at the very tiny ‘Mercury Lounge.” Was it the smallest place the band has ever played? A, no… but that is why I write this. The Sisters were playing two secret shows (the first Monday night) under fake band
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- Tears of Joy (10/14/08) [View | Hide]
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Song: Tears of Joy
Artist: Lucinda Williams
Album: Little Honey
Lucinda Williams isn’t only one of the best singer-songwriters working today, I would say she is one of the best of all time. Unfortunately, since she released four classic albums in a row, I think her latest output has been put under too tight a microscope. All of them, that is, except for her last album, “West.” I just
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