Holland's Profile
 [MEMBER VERIFIED]
Last Login: Within 3 hours
City: Knoxville
State/Province: TN
Country: US
Age:
21
Height:
5' 7"
Weight:
9999 lbs.
Hair Color:
Dark Brown
Eye Color:
Hazel
Body Type:
Heavy Set
Ethnicity:
White
Occupation:
Art Star
myInterests
Interests/Hobbies
I color all day long.
Music I Like:
My taste in music kicks your taste in music's ass.
Films I Like:
The Little Mermaid, Bent, Ever After, Closer, Kill Bill, To Wong Foo, Mermaids, Resident Evil (all of them), RHPS, South Park Movie, Bedazzled, Starship Troopers, Underworld, Breakfast With Scot, The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, Fern Gully, Interview with the Vampire, Sweet November, Fifth Element, White Oleander, Finding Nemo, Alien, Saw, Witches of Eastwick, Queen of the Damned, Labyrinth, Secret Window, Zoolander, Memoirs of a Geisha, Hide and Seek, anything with Jennifer Tilly, and whatever else I'm forgetting.
Literature I Like:
Not the Twilight books; not in a million years.
TV Shows I Like:
TV should die.
myAffiliations
Companies
Affiliations
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Holland I killed poor Sally's lover one dark and dirty day. Sally got another, and I got sent away.
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[view all status updates]
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DList URL: http://www.dlist.com/Holland
aboutHolland
I'm like the ringleader. I have a whip.
I'm like a firecracker. I make a mess.
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TheWhiskeyChronicles.com
Jonathan: We should go on Celebrity Rehab.
Me: But we're not celebrities.
Jonathan: Take it back!
Me: Sorry.
Jonathan: DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!
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Me: Do sugar gliders like espresso?
Rikki: YES!
Me: SEVENTY-FOUR SHOTS OF IT?
Rikki: YESSSSSSSSS! SEVENTY-FOUR AND A HALF!!!!
Me: INJECTED INTO THEIR BLOODSTREAM?????????
Rikki: YES!! RIGHT INTO THE BLOOD!!!
Me:YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASHIAJHFIJKSK;ELCJKJRGLVBGR
Rikki: ...This is why people think we're weird.
Me: ...What do you mean?
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I want to meet a boy who always has bits of paint in the creases of his hands and under his nails.
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Yes:
Alliteration, Dance music, Proper spelling, Cats, Water lilies, Books, Log fires, Dancing badly at red lights, Making elaborate costumes, The beach, Making presents, The word "Peculiar," Halloween, Cutting hair, Tattoos, Piercings, Vegetarians, Brown eyes, Seashells, Good coffee (not that starbucks bullcrap), Passion toward something immaterial, Bubble baths, Boba tea...
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No:
Humid weather, Barking, Oxfords under sweaters, Northface anything, Bad teeth, Middle class boys who pretend that they aren't, Aquarians, People who think their life is reality TV, Meat heads, Trashy college parties for trashy college mentalities, Gold/Champagne colored cars, People who think Jason Mraz is indie, Bad dye jobs, Buzz cuts, Arrogance, and Apathy...
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Let's start off with something light.
Vital Information Every Respectable Human Being Should Know:
- "Blue" is not a flavor.
It's a color, just like red, yellow, green, and purple. Yes, orange is an exception.
- "Douche" should be made into an adverb
Douchely. adv. - in a douche-like manner
- If someone says "I'm not a typical fag,"
it's code for "I wish I wasn't a typical fag."
- Saying "Trust me." is like saying "I'm sorry." in advance.
If he really deserves your trust, he'll know he doesn't have to ask for it.
- It makes no sense to say "should of."
It's "should have." That would be why the contraction is "should've," not "should'f."
- Pretending to be interested in French things doesn't make you chic.
It makes you the same as all of the other fags around here.
- You can defend your star tattoos all you want.
No matter what you say, they're still just a little too Avril.
- Lying will get you into trouble.
I once knew a man who said he loved me, and then he told me a bunch of lies. He is now afraid to be in the same room as me.
- Howard Dean is basically a puppy.
When he gets too excited, he's likely to have an accident.
- Your past is your past because you made it that way.
You haven't changed. You've just found new ways to lie.
- "Damn" is a verb.
A verb is not an adjective, kids. It has never been an adjective. Therefore, saying "the damn beanbag" makes no sense. "Damned beanbag," however, is perfectly acceptable.
- Whores don't get a second chance.
That applies to everything.
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So, about my profile:
I don't have private pictures, and I don't care about yours.
I am NOT NAKED in the book picture. I have shorts on. Shut up.
I don't use the "Into You" thing.
I don't even check it or go through it,
so don't get your feelings hurt.
If you e-mail me and say something like:
"Hey, you're hot."
"Sup?"
"Nice Pix."
or anything with the word "bro" in it,
I will not respond.
And no, I don't think it's cute when you say them all together to be funny.
Jackass.
If I can't see your face, don't bother talking to me. I'm not interested in holding a conversation with your nipples.
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I guess I'm supposed to talk about myself.
I think that typing up a vague outline of one's life is really pointless. It could be just about anybody. Not to mention, it's usually mind-numbingly boring.
So, I'm just going to do the total opposite and give you random specific details about me.
I fell down the stairs at the Louvre.
I've almost drowned 3 times.
My favorite color is turquoise.
I'm 21, but I still like feeding bread to ducks.
I'm really bad at typing, and the previous statement used to say "... feeding bread to dicks."
I was once ten feet from Imogen Heap, and I almost spoke to her, but I was too nervous. I could kick myself over it!
I have never cheated on anyone, because I still believe in love.
I'm not fond of sluts.
I intentionally don't have a southern accent.
I make really good Lumpia.
I can eat an entire pineapple in five minutes.
I was always terrified of werewolves as a child.
I can out-cook your grandmother.
I say things like "That's gay." Don't be such a little girl. The irony is funny.
The only time I ever sing is on stage or alone. I get nervous otherwise.
I eat cream cheese on my muffins.
I can't pee if other people are around (public bathrooms). It freaks me out. I've held it for 16 hours to avoid using one.
Teeth are the first thing I look at when I talk to people.
I fully intend to have a peacock one day, and to mess with my neighbors I'll insist that it's a chicken.
I eat a lot of peppers.
When I get old, I want to always run around in medieval clothing but act completely sane in conversation.
I once lied about being a mormon so the people that come to your door would leave me alone.
I eat my eggs over well.
I'm starting to realize how much I talk about food.
I have a really short attention sp
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This is what I'm made of.
     
       
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This is what I sound like.
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Personal Equality.
A.K.A "You're no better than anyone else."
I feel that it's important to get this out of the way,
since we're still early in the game here.
I'm tired of biting my tongue about this.
If any person is no better than another, there is no
point in trying to shape ourselves into good people.
If we live like there is no tomorrow, there will never be one.
I think some people ARE better than others, but it's
not about the things most people consider.
It's not money or looks or brains.
It's how hard you WORK to improve yourself.
it's how much you GIVE back.
It's how much you SACRIFICE yourself.
The low people on that scale are the ones who see
"equality."
Personality has no place in communism!
People are NOT equal.
Having said that, I DO think I'm better than some
people.
MILES BETTER.
It doesn't make me conceited.
It makes you pissed to know that you never worked hard
enough to better yourself, and now you want to pull
the "no one's better than anyone" card.
YOU CAN TAKE THAT CARD AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.
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The English Language.
(If you are in the process of learning English (or
don't speak it, for that matter), you are excused from
this. I applaud you for learning any new
language, and you have my admiration. )
However,
if your first language is English and you don't know
the difference between:
Your/You're:
There/Their/They're:
Then/Than:
Here/Hear:
To/Two/Too:
Hoe/Ho:
Where/Wear:
I suggest you learn before you try to talk to me,
and, for the love of God,
will you people please learn to conjugate a verb
correctly?
I'm serious.
The English language is being destroyed by words like
"dood", "boi", "str8", "wutz", etc.
If you do any of this shit in a conversation with me,
I'll probably just stop talking then and there.
Don't end a plural noun with a z.
That's retarded.
The s key is right above it.
Make the extra effort.
Why dddo peopppple feel the need to repeattttt
consonants in wordssss that aren't being emphasized?
like dont you just hate it when people dont use
punctuation marks or capitals everything they type is
just this big massive puddle of meaningless words
theres not a single comma apostrophe period question
mark or anything and it all just kind of jumbles
together in an endless string of stupidity oh my god
it drives me crazy
This isn't middle school. When you're 13, it's "cool"
to abuse english like that.
When you're still doing it as an adult, it's pathetic
and creepy.
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Humility.
Humility is very important to me.
People are too concerned with establishing
how superior they are to everyone else.
Guess what...
Those D & G sunglasses may be shiny, but they make you
a good person how?
I must have missed the memo.
I don't care what kind of car you drive.
I don't give a shit if you're a model.
Your bank statement doesn't interest me.
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Self Promotion.
Have you seen these guys with clothing brands in their
name?
For example:
-Abercrobboi or Hollistrdude or something ridiculous
like that-
Of course you have. They're everywhere unfortunately.
Even worse are the guys who photoshop themselves into a crappy home-made Gucci/ Armani/ Chanel ad.
Fellas, the people who design those ads know what they're doing.
You don't.
If they wanted you in them, they'd put you there.
Stop insulting the designers.
Dear Pradastudd/ Abnfitchguy/ Hollistermodl/ and the guy from the home made Gucci ad,
YOU ARE NOT AFFILIATED WITH THOSE COMPANIES!
THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU!
GO AWAY!
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Bisexuality.
Don't get touchy over this, and stop being a little
girl.
Bisexual guys always flaunt it like it makes them
hotter...
Excuse me?!?
When did insecurity and denial become a turn on?
No thanks.
They always make sure to claim "bi" FIRST THING in
their profile like God forbid anyone mistake them for
a faggot.
"HEY! HEY, BRO! I LIKE CHICKS, TOO. I'M BI, DUDES. WURD!"
Really? Do you see any women here looking to date you? Do you? Do you?
NO. You don't. STFU. S-T-F-U.
....
PS: If you leave porn as a comment, I'm just going to delete it.
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<3 Holland
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myPictures (23)
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myFriends'Comments (1274)
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airfrance
 Online now
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Comment left on: 7/31/10 10:22 AM
your halloween costume of my God is amazing. we can definitely be FRNDZ
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rawrsam
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Comment left on: 7/26/10 1:59 AM
I went to the zoo the other day, and out of all the cool animals, my
favorite part was feeding the ducks and other birds. Then I just read
your bio about feeding ducks and it made me smile. That is all. :)
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MKArtsboy
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Comment left on: 7/21/10 2:26 AM
tegan or sara who is better?
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jal2125
Online now
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Comment left on: 7/15/10 6:03 AM
Thank you for writing all those things in your profile that needed to be
said. I may have to steal part of it as a canned reply to dumb emails.
Also: Feel It In My Bones. Yes. I like you already.
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Starstruck
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Comment left on: 7/14/10 8:29 PM
I love your profile. It's so true..especially love your third piece of
vital information. I couldn't agree more! Were all fucking gay!! And I
hate when dudes say bro too. I'm like "Shut the fuck up!"
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thatonericky
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Comment left on: 7/14/10 1:09 PM
hey! you would make a good dj :p
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greylee
Online now
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Comment left on: 7/13/10 2:14 AM
I know right?!! i feel the same way when i saw your profile, 9999lbs ?!
seriously>! hahahaaa :P
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DavidTerzian
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Comment left on: 7/12/10 9:19 PM
omg! you chopped your hair off!!! :D it looks good. ^_^
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