Most recent photo of me below, squished beneath an ass, as usual (lower left)
This is Jiggles; you may have noticed me stalking across the meadow trailing my bright pink twelve foot long donkey dick behind me. The engorged member catches debris in its sticky goo: litter, old LPs, used bras; pot pipes; a tin full of hash; some uneaten stir-fried placenta. Its squidy suction cups rip the ginch gonches off skinny chicken hips and suck the diamond rings off trolls' fat fingers. I sprinkle it with meat tenderizers and throw it under an oncoming parade of angry stilettoed & bewigged soldiers, just as my favorite song starts playing over the loudspeakers, sending everyone into a gnashing frenzy of spastic dancing.
crackberry n. A BlackBerry handheld computer, particularly one used obsessively; a person who uses such a computer obsessively. Also: CrackBerry.
4/25 leaving NYC for a solar-powered psychedelic eco-commune in the Blue Ridge Mountans for Beltane...see ya in the bathhouse on hot water day!
I find
Playing Scrabble with
A retard is more fun than
Fucking your tweaked dad.
I just have one tip for camping: Easy Wipes
I live in a crevasse in the air on w 26th street. My apt is officially known as the "Elevated Hole", among the junkies and pimps and packs of evil drooling syphilitic literary critics.
4/1
Nancy Pelosi is the coolest bitch in the nation. I worship.
2/9 I can't remember what i wrote in the entries below--that was decades ago in gay years--and i don't care. Lots has happened since then, all good, and it's none of your business.
12/19
Am home in NYC straight thru the holidays with the BF and the critter. The 10ft tall tree has been set up but not decorated. Precariously, I am typing at my desk beneath an impending avalanche of vintage porno magazines, bills, collectible plush, empty lube bottles, taxidermy, and computer hardware, with a drink in hand, hoping to put everything in order by Christmas weekend; so that i can get out the sewing machine, the glue and the glitter and invite all the elf boys over for the tree trimming. There is a roller skating party tonight in Brooklyn, KIKI tomorrow night at Bowery Ballroom; a wicked D-list party Christmas day and New Years Eve! I *plan* to stay sane, sober and wise--off the hard stuff--so all my juices and optimism are flowing for 2007.
THANKS FOR SHOWING YOUR PRIVATES! wow.
Am ready to WEbCam anytime, and, Yeah, i'm hung like a prisoner's forearm.
Dec 10
The cute as hell fish counter boy at Whole Foods has a way of knocking the oysters together up close against his ear, listening for signs that they are good ones. He said, 'I'm picky about my oysters,' and winked at me. Then my friend Tangle came over and we had an oyster shucking/eating contest (I am gettting really fast)with pomegranate gimlets, bread and cheese, and we ran out the door with magic brownies in our pockets to see a double feature, ending with 'History Boys.' Fell asleep talking bullshit, with that full-up oyster gut feeling.
Dec 9
BUTT MAGAZINE PARTY Saturday Night, see website (The real attraction is Owen Pallett of Final Fantasy, the Canadian singer songwriter--he poos clouds.)
12/5 I am atoning for the decrepitude of last weekend by going to bed early tonight, which involves sitting up in bed reading while dipping cookies in scotch. And a very fine novel it is...PIMP by Iceberg Slim, 1969, begins on page one: "Daddy, we sure been humping for you, and what you smell is our nasty whore asses."
12/4 This was my first obligation-free weekend in months, and i really celebrated. BF and I invited lotsa boys over from online, a random sample of the gay ghetto. I know it's fashionable to be judgmental about whores, junkies, and creatures of the night, but how would anyone have any fun without them? Coincidentally, they ALL brought their own laptops (the sign of a true slut), and sat around the room in groups cruising online, comparing notes while couples had sex on futons in the middle of the room. I projected streaming internet porn onto a large wall. Personally i'm not into groups, but I don't mind showing off. I got penetrative and truly shameless with a crush boy or two, but whenever i looked up, nobody was ogling, they were all laid-back and polite, busy chatting over their laptops. The great thing is i didn't have to go online AT ALL, other people did the inviting--one thing i get enough of during the work week is sitting on the computer. I hadn't had a sleazy blow-out in months. It was like I had a Ferrari in the garage and finally put it to good use. Finally kicked the last person out at 10a.m. except for a lovable 20 year old who hasn't left yet. I am back in my office Monday morning...with an evil grin. No hangover, so i guess i paced myself well.
11/16 I'v been working alot lately, not had nearly enough fun; my ass is tighter than a clam on ice. Thanksgiving is coming up, and i hope to be in whole mess of trouble by then; any ideas hit me up.
10/31
7 days left to win back Congress...what have you done to help make a change?
Contact MoveOn.org to donate time or money. Register to Vote at RocktheVote.com
10/9 Returned from camping all weekend with the pooch and the piece. Was frosty at night, cozy in the tent with wood stove. Went online in the car for work with the laptop plugged into the cigarette lighter, getting WI-FI at the local newsapaper. Warm enough (70s) for a tan canoeing in the day. Grilled and drank wine. Huge full moon. Picked apples in Stanstead, Quebec with French-speaking kids and dogs running around, then drove back to NYC. Am sane again.
10/8 Shortbus Movie Website The Shortbus virtual queerzine is complete. Check out the Salon section for daily new A++ song download/ video features and celebrity playlists. Got some downloadable readings: Allen Ginsberg's 'Yes, Master,' and his song 'C.I.A. Dope Calypso.' Oh fuck it, just go see the movie, or if you're cute, skip it and come sit on my face ( ((@)) )
9/8 The Chicken and the Egg were sitting up in bed naked smoking a cigarette. One of them took a long satisfied drag and said, "Well...that answers THAT question."
There's a point where you cross the line between posting a profile and becoming an addicted raving narcissist. Next thing you know, you're injecting liquid eyeliner and posing so fast your neck snaps. I love that part.
8/31
Went to a party around the block from my house to meet a friend; never caught the name of the event...Scum Bunny, i think? (More like a bunch of addlepated goats) The friend never showed up, said his car was hit by a leaping deer. Went to bed and had a dream: I was driving a bus full of friends to Canada and the border patrol pulled us over, telling us we either had to be patted down or take off all our clothes. I felt in my pocket, and YIKES! there was a residual bag of pot. So I furtively stuck it between my ass cheeks and gently pushed it into my butthole until it disappeared, thinking, good trick, Jiggles! ...This morning I am safely set up at my office desk with my trusty pooch keeping me company.
8/21
I have a minimum-wage intern who cruises for me on here, doing all the simple things like "What's Up?", "Yur Hot!" and pressing all the private buttons. But I'm training a chimpanzee to do it. I only look at the computer when the alarm goes off indicating the intern is leaking pre-cum.
8/15
Returned from camping in Vermont in the afternoon. Then had a loud spastic pre-Kiki cocktail party at home before heading over to the Helen Hayes theater for the **spectacular spectacular**. Pics of all us ho's below, Layard, John, Dan, Tangle, Texxx (in pink!), Mark; my honey, and of course JB himself. Tequila shots all night long sustained me. They tell me I did some acrobatics at the after party, which i can't remember but evidently i stuck the dismount so it's not too embarrassing.
8/6
Went to D-List party Jungle Juice Friday night at a private loft downtown which was a fantastic scene, packed to the gills with new D-Listers, nudies and cuties and smiling fresh faces. The temperature was very very high in there, even after i stripped down to underwear, and i was pent up, so i started in on the beverages from bartender Tangle--he mixes tall phat drinks with his dick.
___...Had a fun night
The irresistible junkie-ho known as Nuh-uh is my main squeeze and bedmate but it's a big bed with extensions and provisional roaming compartments, rafters and treehouses.
7/25/06
Spent all weekend driving back and forth from lake to lake in the mountains with a car full of nude fags laughing and cuttin up, skinny dipping drunk--in heaven--listening to The Gossip's new album cranked up.
One time i had four dicks in me at once, and that was just a snack.
A you've been makin' your brags around town
That you've been a lovin' my man
But the man I love, when he picks up trash
He puts it in a garbage can
And that's what a you look like to me
And what I see's a pity
Close your face and stay outta my way
If ya don't wanna go to fist city
If ya don't wanna go to fist city
Ya better detour around my town
'Cause I'll grab you by the hair a the head
And I'll lift a you off a the ground
I'm not a sayin' my baby's a sa
ssssssssssh ,if your very quiet you can see the homo-rimmicus in its natual enviorment, grazing by the water side, be careful . it is almost always their mating season and the can be very freindly if they spot u
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