mi put it on, sen him home, an tell him go pree dat
...so wat is there about me?
Bin on Dlist for a good minute. I originally said I've probably seen it all. But now I know in fact I have probably seen most of what's available on here. I've always been one for good conversation, if you wanna converse with me ain no harm. Just please don't talk about your dick or my dick or anything sexual in nature. I don't care if you're horny. Anyway there's nothing you need to know bout me except I'm a dancer. The rest you can ask.
What I'm lookin for...
Nothing actually.....
Imagination. That's a good start. And don't be fake. I've encountered plenty of fake people and the kicker is that its only visible after thinking you really trust them. I could say more but I'm not one to sink to other people's level.
Peace
ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population.
Those times when you need inspiration, look to those around you.
Me and my girl Teasah a year ago, when every chance I got to dance with her I would be filled with excitement.
Family
Its just one of them days... (11/12/09) [View | Hide]
Sometimes you just need to take one of those days to not be around anyone. In my case today was one of those days. I hate it when people piss me off. But then I remind myself of the people that keep me grounded. Its funny that people who aren't the best of friends can be the ones to really take you there. I guess I have a lucky habit of being mentally attracted towards people with a good spirit. By that I mean people who are just real and possess an almost innate wisdom second nature to common sense. Something I hope I have. And then I look at the picture again and realize that the people I thought I considered best friends are the ones that fuck up the day. Something isn't right....2009 has definitely been a year of learning for me. I have learned so much about people. Ugh....people....they drive me crazy. I'm still learning. One thing I can stay true to while learning is that I am not living for any of these people. I am living for myself. As for the picture up top....that's what I need: A BIG HUG..........
So ladies n gents, here I am after a little hiatus thinking to myself: wowwwww!! These past few weeks have been crazy. On top of crazy preparations for a big show, I got the flu! I'm still here trying to get over it. A week later and still not gone. Of course because i never give myself time to actually recover. Aside from that, we pulled off an amazing show on sunday. This is something that I single handedly choreographed and 12 of us have been labouring hard over since the beginning of september. Early (10 am) sunday morning practices, late monday night practices, and a lot of planning and organization to make this thing happen. On top of this, I was sick at the actual show. Nevertheless, it was amazing. And everyone loved it. Its great to know that there are so many people behind your vision helping it to succeed, and plenty more that are greatly appreciative of it. So anyway, here's the piece. It's called GUJJU BAZAAR and depicts how the workers at a small market place decide to deal with economic hardship in the form of a black and white movie. Enjoy!!
Sittin on [Bucky] TOP of the World (10/19/09) [View | Hide]
I can't help but sit here in the middle of the night, eating my breakfast, and think: damn. No i didn't just wake up by the way. I'm just eating breakfast because I feel like it. Although...you could call this moment an awakening. (Side note, I'm going to need my mama and Auntie Jemima to look into opening a pancake shop and run dat triflin' IHOP girl into the ground 'cause these pancakes areBOMB). So let's talk about what has me feeling like I'm on top of the world. What it is that has further awakened me. I write to you freshly sweaty from yet another performance. Everything went beautifully and people were very appreciative of the item. Business cards were exchanged, email addresses noted, and promises of future contact for gigs to come were made.What does all of this mean?The whole performance went in a split second, and I was lost in the dance, the music, the energy. Not until some official speaking about contracts broke through the absolute high I was on and pulled me back down to earth did I realize, I'm getting paid for this! I am following my dream, putting myself through hell, victim to chaos and disorganization.....and loving every moment....and making a living.
I sit back in the dining room and think about what or who I'm doing this for, and the answer is simple: first and foremost, me. I can respect those who do it just for the money or the recognition, but it feels a whole lot better when in the end you're feeling accomplished within. So many people get caught up in the shady dance scene and fall in the middle of everybody's mix up and common chat. Jealousy makes people do and say things to bring others down and all I can say is, that is beneath me. I'm not doing this to prove anything to Tom, Dick, or Harry (maybe Julissa, Ky'Neeq, and Duone.....yeah those sound more real).DANCERSare quick to get caught up in the glitz, then have to walk back through the shade and get lost, forgetting that once beneath it all was passion. My mother always told me "Don mind wha other people dem say. Jus mind yuhself." Although glad for that little piece of advice, there are some people whose words I did mind and took to heart. I must give respect where respect is due and remember that I learned to hear the beat before I could move to it. I'm so blessed to have learned and shared with the people I consider mentors, and will continue to be forever greatful for their guidance. I just hope that when I do take a wrong turn and get lost that I can look back to this place and remember my way.
So I was going through my inbox and found a post someone made about an altercation we had once upon a time. It just helped me realize how so many people are out there trying to make you change. Trying to make you be someone your not, just to fit in with their life, just so things can be convenient for them. You can go ahead and try to change or adapt yourself, but once you realize that they have a different standard for you and they aren't going to reciprocate then you have to ask what it is all really worth. Today being Thanksgiving in Canada, I sit back and reflect on the things I am truly thankful for. With that I realize all the things I have learned in 2009. This year has been crazy. Friendships beginning and ending, relationships blooming and withering, finding a new home, new inspirations, lessons learned, and fun times had. I guess you could say that 2009 so far has been quite eye opening. As for what is in store for me past this moment, I can only plan to be disappointed and stay pleasantly surprised.
Today I'm giving thanks for all those that inspire me, keep me grounded, and show me what true friendship is.
So have you ever had one of those nights where you were all good, and then you talked to that person? Things are going great. You're happy to be cupcakin away, on dat cloud 13 tip (you havn't quite made it up to cloud 9, but you're not too far from it. You can see it in the distant future). Then they say that one thing to fuck it up - snaps you back to reality. All I could say was, "I guess I should just follow my gut instinct." Now is clearly not the time...so I tell myself I'm not sure why I bother.
Now let me bring it up to today. Thinking, today is going to be a shit day. Until I started dancing. Two rehearsals later I'm on top of the world. Worn out and tired as fudge, but so fulfilled. It just goes to show that I'm really going the direction I need to be going.
Other than dancing, my saving grace: my friends. All we did was walk straight, and I forgot everything I was dealing with and how I was feeling, emotionally and physically. I'm happy.
I was going to write a new entry; then I looked at the time and realized I've been up for 22 hours and 41 minutes. During those hours I worked my early morning job, taught my dance class, taught a piece for an audition, and performed a late night club gig. So its safe to say, I'll hook this page up in between doing my laundry tomorrow. Good Night World.
New is probably the wrong adjective to use. I would have to say redefined or updated better suits this Noyze. I recently returned from my three week vacation to Tdot. Everyone kept asking me "how is this a vacation?" I understand why they asked since all I did was party, eat, and dance. But no work, school, or home equals vacation to me. I met sooooooo many people. Networking was definately the T. Plenty of dancers and mad people I've looked up to. The whole trip was just a huge inspiration. Plus i got to chill wit my homegirls and get much needed advice and guidance, as well as go in with the "girls" every nite. LOL we were an organized mess. It was really a hard decision to decide to come back home or stay there but I decided to return since I had already made a bunch of commitments and lined up some opportunities. I figure its for the better because I still have yet to let myself grow in the way I want to before I leave here to pursue more. And that's what this time here is for.
My girl Teasah had a little sit down with me and we just talked about everything we are both aiming to do. She's such an inspiration to me and its a bit of a blessing to receive guidance from someone like her. Just as planned stuff is really starting to fall into place. Steady job Monday - Friday mornings is bomb. Dancing almost every day resulting in paid gigs is boss. Actually enjoying what I'm doing.... there're no words for that. My dance crew is really a cool lil family I love our dynamic, and thers big plans for us....I may not be around to see the end result of many depending on how soon my move happens but at least I get to help as much as I can.
The rest of this year I'm really going to focus on me. You may say "isn't that a little selfish?" No bitch its not. I feel better about cussing at you 'cause I know that nobody actually reads this. I'm done worrying about doing this and that for other people or worrying how what I do will affect them. I'm living with what they do, so they can return the sentiment. I realize now that I have to be more patient with the people that really do matter, and just take the fakes for face value. For those that do matter, don't take my being blunt as an offense. It mostly means I'm mad comfortable with you so I'm not going to sugar coat shit. I'm not one to really care what people say about me, because if they gonna hype about something and they always bin a bitch then hey, its to be expected. On the flip side, if they a sweet biscuit to my face and act real down then turn 'round an chat chat chat....not even going to check for you again. Of course I'm always going to find my share of mix up, but what's the flight without a little turbulence? Perfect was never fun.
So I'm feeling weird and antsy. I can't really figure out what to do with myself. I was really geared up to hit the clubhouse tonight but then of course the three people I was going with decided to bail out. Hard times. Then I was gonna go to a fete but decided I'm not really up for that. I don't have the energy, even though soca all night in Vancouver is a little unheard of. I did one and a half things I had originally planned to do today: I cooked for all week, 4 dishes and I went to a dance class. The class was going to be a real hype one, however; it didn't end up running. So at least I left the house. Times like this I wish i cud jus hop in the car and go chill wit someone, watchin movies and the like. Then I remember: I don't have a car. I'm too lazy to jump on the bus. Maybe I'll take my ass up the block to Safeway and get some chocolate syrup for my ice cream. Yeah I think I will. Might as well try and make my ass bigger. On the plus side I have a lot of food and it's fuckin bomb. So if you wanna come for dinner jus bring drinks and we in business. lol. I'm outz
A reason for everything, and an everything for a reason. (7/29/09) [View | Hide]
One thing I find myself thinking about constantly is the amount of people that have come in and out of my life. Be it dwelling on the past or simply reminiscing, most of those people have given me good memories. I struggle to understand the saying "everyone is brought into your life for a reason" even tho I'm guilty of using the phrase on occasion. It seems to be a default for me when I need to cheer myself up. All the people I tend to think about were somebodys: people that had a lot going for themselves and I had a lot of love for. So for them to bow out of my life at any given time without notice kind of flipped me upside down on every occasion that it happened. I find myself constantly wondering why they left, if I did something wrong. If they were brought to me for a reason...what was it? What did I learn from them or them from me? I also wonder what the point of growing so attached to someone is when the fear of losing them is always very much able to become reality. Sitting here at 1:28 am obviously is not the secret to finding these answers, but I have a feeling that I'm not supposed to. I'm at a point in my life where I'm actually happy with everyone that I'm surrounded by. To have such loving and supporting friends is truly a blessing....but....its just hard to let go when you don't know why you've been let go....
Let me start of by saying that I’m not a writer. I can never bring myself to write unless my GPA is dependent upon it. And I hate that kind of writing….so I guess I may jus be prejudice against all forms of personal writing. Mostly because I think many people blog for pity. But maybe not. Anyway, not important.How does one start a blog? Let me introduce myself as Noyze. Yeah that’s what I’ll do! This can be an introductory blog. I’m generally very private but I have friends that seem to swear by blogging so I figured I would give it a try. You may wonder why “Noyze”. Well it’s my stage name. I’m a dancer. I’m kind of a big personality at times. I’m not always loud or obnoxious but that’s kind of my stage image. If that makes sense…
Enough about that. So why have I decided to blog? I wish I had a better transition but I don’t. So you, lucky reader, can take what you get. ‘Cause that’s all I got! I don’t really see myself as a naïve person, or someone who is easy to take advantage of but lately I can’t help but feel I let myself be too trusting. I’m definitely not one to make excuses for myself or try and find fault in situations. Sometimes you can’t help but think that you got got, got gotten, got fucked over. Whatever you want to chose. You know what scratch that. I haven’t gotten fucked over. See, one person I trusted for almost a year and was recently told that I had just been lied to about their identity. After trusting someone that long and finding out they go by a different name and face, you start to question yourself. At least I do. I also found out someone else I trusted, probably more than anyone else, had schemed this little plan against me, manipulated people close to me, among a few other things.Again, didn’t get fucked over. I’m out some money, but that’s nothing big. Its always sour when money is involved but I’m above that. I won’t go into any further detail because I still firmly believe that what is between another person and myself remains our business and the whole world doesn’t need to be delivered the Daily Times. All that being said, I’ve been looking to myself just wondering how I let things progress that far without seeing what was happening. I can’t even say I’m too trusting, because I’m really not.What unfortunate about the whole situation is that now I’m always going to be looking at people differently. And really who am I to try and evaluate someone?
Oh well on to better and brighter things hopefully. We live, learn, and keep things moving.
yeah i sort of had a problem wit a friend wel ex friend who want to fight me and my ex. starting drama where i live. but thats life and it will get better. what u been up to?
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