I don't take myself seriously and will be the first to laugh at my own stupidity. I tease people that I like. I need to be honest and forthright if for no other reason than my memory is far too poor for me to successfully lie. I'm a nice, caring guy but also a sarcastic prick - particularly when I'm being racist. Sometimes I think I like music too much. I'm well-educated and mature but (?) have the mouth of a sailor. I absolutely love dogs and will ignore humans in the presence of virtually any canine. I tend to write grammatically-correct text messages. I love to go out but can very much enjoy staying in (Trivial Pursuit anyone?). I don't have a gym body (or hell, even a membership) and don't need/expect it of my mate. I've started muting the commercials while I watch TV; it makes me feel geriatric, but that's okay. And to the depressingly-large number of douche bags on this site: I'm not sure which is more vile: the ignorance required to label oneself as "straight-acting" or the homophobia necessary to be proud of it.

Physically, I generally go for guys with average/thick/stocky/"natural" builds but nothing's really set in stone; long hair and drugs are absolute deal-breakers, however. Anyone that's got beautiful eyes and can make me laugh is doing great by my book. Don't take yourself too seriously (because god knows you're not that important) and don't throw faux gang signs in your photos, white boy, because it makes you look like a douche bag.